number crunch

by John S. croucher*

largest collection of film projectors (christos Psathas, Greece): year: 2011

1919
3900

most body piercings in one session (tyson turk and chris elliott, uS); time taken: 7 hours 46 minutes; year: 2011

Proportion of households in the uS in 2010 with 0 or 1 vehicle; in 2006: 42%

43%

record number of random digits correctly remembered by philosophy student li Kam-fung from hong Kong; his age: 23; time taken: 15 minutes; time it took him to memorise a random order of 52 playing cards: 69 seconds; year: 2011

280

Proportion of surveyed australian male workers who take a lunch break of more than 30 minutes; of women: 30%

40%

T
Picture credit to come. * John S. croucher, ProfeSSor of StatiSticS, mGSm, macquarie univerSity

have world of sport winners on both sides of my bloodline. For those who dont recall the shambolic weekly yab fest on Melbournes HSV 7, it was awash with footy analysis, racing results and smallgoods giveaways. There were also fairground competitions from woodchopping to roller cycling; from sheaf throwing to handball. My father, Ray Wilson, a Hawthorn player, once won the handball seven bullseyes and five sevens landing $50 and enough Monte Carlo biscuits to see us through the international oil crisis of 1973. But the real family champion of World of Sport was my mother, Margaret. During Easter 1969, she was snapped by the Sporting Globe newspaper, and when her picture was published, head encircled, she won $5, some Dr Scholls orthopaedic sandals, a Volutis perm styled by Lillian and Antonio, and dinner at the Southern Cross Hotel. She also won a place among 40 contenders for Miss Football 1969, a televised quiz conducted during the VFL finals. My mother, newly married to a footballer, knew next to nothing about football, so wasnt going to compete. Another players wife, Barbara Gay, who had just missed out the year before on first prize of a trip to Mildura, tried to convince her. As Mum tells it: She said to me, You can learn this stuff! Just memorise all the coaches, presidents, captains, leading goalkickers, Brownlow medallists, matchday scores The list went on and on. But once the 1969 prize was announced, Mums attitude changed. Instead of a trip to Mildura, first prize was two weeks, all expenses paid, in Hong Kong and Japan. It was worth far more than my years salary, Dad recalls. Wed never been overseas and there was no real prospect of going. But now a trip to the Far East was a few right answers away. All Dad had to do was teach Mum the history of football. In our marriage, arguably weve never been closer, says Mum, laughing. We had lists all over the house. Leading goalkickers on the mirror, Brownlow medallists on the toilet wall, presidents in the pantry, captains stuck to the kitchen table. Every car ride was an inquisition. I fell asleep reading the Speedy Book of Footy Facts. the test to make miss football 1969s final four was held at the dingy old Herald Sun building. It seems inconceivable to me now that my NGVguiding mother ever attempted it. Who won the last five Bunton Medals? Name the 10 field umpires who officiated this season? Who came fifth in last years Brownlow? But the swotting paid off. When scores were tallied, Mrs Margaret Wilson of Mitcham ranked first with a score of 17 out of 20. Ranked second (14/20) was Balwyn matriculant Lyn Grinlington. If Mum was the Muhammad Ali of Miss Football 1969, Lyn was its Joe Frazier. And yet of the two titans, Lyn was the more natural. Lyn actually knew about football, Mum says. She was a genuinely passionate Hawthorn supporter. As Lyn tells me now: The Sun photographer snapped me in my school uniform in front of my Peter Hudson poster. Now retired, former scientist Lyn is still a devoted fan, volunteering at the Hawks Nest merchandise shop. The quiz finals were scheduled to coincide with the VFL finals, and so Lyn and Mum first played off on the weekend of the second semi-final. We drew, and they couldnt separate us with extra questions, so called us back the next week, Mum explains. Then it happened again. Back again the next week. I ask Mum why they didnt just keep asking questions until they had a winner. Its best not to think too hard about the logic of World of

miss footy 69

even An ArTs-InclIned mum cAn Be A fonT of fooTBAll knowledGe, If Theres A holIdAY Involved. BY TonY wIlson.

trivial pursuit: margaret wilson, with husband ray in 1969.

dictionary
for the modern world
BY Jacqueline maley

TWeeThearT
If you are crushing on the witticisms of someone you follow on Twitter, you have a tweetheart. The secret to keeping your Twitter crush alive is not to try to translate it into the real world. Thats called stalking.

ToTes Inappropes
A shortening of totally inappropriate favoured by members Generation Y. It can be used to condemn breaches of social media etiquette, for example, unwanted sexting.

* answers: reigning premier, Geelong, 2011 brownlow medallist, dane Swan, carlton captain chris Judd (Stephen Silvagni is married to Jo bailey), hawthorn captain luke hodge (former skipper Sam mitchell has three kids under three). mums score 0/4.]

Sport. In any event, every Sunday wed come home with fresh supplies of chocolates and hams. Miss Football became the novelty story of the 1969 finals. Quiz Cuties At It Again! screamed the Globe. Beauty, and Brains Too beamed The Sun. Amazingly, Mums and Lyns addresses were published under their photos and, for Lyn, it proved disastrous. I started receiving obscene phone calls. This guy would pretend he was from Channel 7, but then filth would come out. It went on and on. The police eventually tracked down the offender years later. Hed been hassling a Miss Teenager winner. When they went to his house he had filed newspapers and a record of every girl hed called. Meanwhile, Mums swotting only increased. She mastered the printed lists so I made her more obscure handwritten lists, Dad says. Wed drive to the MCG at 9am to get the Footy Record so she could study at home. On the way to the studio, shed memorise the quarter-by-quarter scores. Mums newfound knowledge led to odd requests. Rays old neighbours, the ones he played kick-to-kick with as a kid, asked us over to take me on with footy trivia, says Mum. Blokes wanted to test themselves against me. It was weird. Quizmaster Ron Casey prepared 36 questions for Mum and Lyns final encounter. The mood on set was raucous, Dad remembers. After every answer cheers came from the World of Sport regulars, led by racing journalists Jack Elliott and Rollo Roylance. Naturally, theyd bet on the outcome. Mum eventually triumphed over her year 12

opponent. The following year, at university, Lyn met a Richmond supporter named Ian, who came over and commiserated over Billy Barrett the answer to the question that put her out. What he didnt immediately tell her was that, while watching the competition, hed turned to his cousin and said, Im going to marry that bird. Eventually, he did just that. checker hughes, dad grins when i ask him the answer to Mums winning question. Which Richmond premiership player before the war coached a different team to a premiership after the war? We were pretty pleased. Second prize was $50 worth of haircare products. Mum also remembers her Checker Hughes moment. It signalled the uncorking of her football knowledge, which had already seeped out of her by the time her head hit the pillow at Hong Kongs The Mandarin hotel that December. Recently, I presented Mum with a current footy quiz. According to her, the reigning premier is Collingwood, some guy called Adam Goode won the 2011 Brownlow, the Carlton captain is the one married to Jo and the Hawthorn skipper is not the one with three kids under three. * Clearly Mum has no plans to defend her title.

May 26, 2012 Good Weekend