Professional Documents
Culture Documents
1 Crime - Sample
Some countries, especially poor ones, have a high level of crime, especially poor countries and which the government and local authorities struggle to solve. The causes of crime committing are depend on many various factors, however, it is commonly believed that there is a direct correlation between the number of the crimes and the gross domestic product per person. Its logically due to the fact that the poverty is a major factor of crimecommitting. Another factor which gives the has an impact to on the level of the crime is the difference in the earnings of the various social groups. The problem is very complicated and should be solved together by various group of society organisations and associations. Firstly, the poor people should care about balancing learn to maintain a balance between their expenses and incomes which they earn in order to eliminate unpredictable expenditures such as drinking alcohol, consuming drugs and paying for the consequences of their bad habits. Secondly, the government and the local authorities should give a hand up provide long-term support, instead of giving handouts for to poor people. It gives them a chance to get an education and obtain a well-paid job as well. Thus, the more government maintenance control/intervention could decline reduce unemployment and consequently, the level of the crime. Thirdly, the media should broadcast information about living a healthy lifestyle in order to persuade people not to consume drugs and alcohol. It is commonly known that there is a strict relationship between crimes and drug consumption. Take, for instance, the South American countries such as Columbia and Bolivia where the government is not able to prevent the crimes because of the high level of illegal drug sales. Finally, the international organization community should support the countries which provide the an active policy in respect of regarding / with regard to the prevention of the crime via charity donations. In conclusion, I believe that crime prevention is a very important topic for most countries which could be solved by the collective efforts and in order to be successful in the reduction of the crime, each group of in society should make their contribution to minimize the number of crimes and the government should coordinate the overall process.
Red = corrections Green = suggested improvements Word count: 332 Minimum word count: 250
Task Achievement
Good the question has only been answered indirectly but the arguments are relevant and well-developed.
Lexical Resource
Good adequate range of appropriate vocabulary.
How To Improve
It is very important to address ALL parts of the question directly. Regarding grammar, more focus is needed on definite articles with general/plural nouns > iPass Toolbox on Articles
Red = corrections Green = suggested improvements Word count - 251 Minimum word count: 250
Task Achievement
Good you have addressed the task well and included some examples.
Lexical Resource
Good some inappropriate vocab choices.
How To Improve
Using a wider range of vocabulary by employing simple techniques such as varying parts of speech. > iPass Module Privacy Laws
Task Achievement
Satisfactory you need to present a clearer position and support your ideas/views with relevant examples and reasons.
Lexical Resource
Good appropriate vocab showing awareness of collocation.
How To Improve
You need to support your argument with relevant reasons and examples > iPass Module Gender Pay Gap
Task Achievement
Very strong the ideas are well developed to produce a very clear and comprehensive answer.
Lexical Resource
Very strong wide range used with accuracy.
How To Improve
This answer could be improved by including more expressions for giving opinion and by using synonyms to avoid repetition > iPass Modules - Human Population and Privacy Laws
Task Achievement
Very good a well-developed answer with extended ideas and relevant examples.
Lexical Resource
Good sufficient range of vocab with occasional errors in word formation/choice.
How To Improve
Extend your range of vocabulary by paraphrasing and using more synoynms > iPass Module Privacy Laws
Lexical Resource
Very good wide range of vocab used to convey precise meanings.
How To Improve
With a careful study of the use of articles in English you could eliminate your grammatical errors - Toolbox Exercise
Lexical Resource
Very good wide range of less common lexis.
How To Improve
You could make more effective use of paragraphs, and in particular, improve the final impact of your essay by writing a clear, strong conclusion > iPass Module - Child Obesity