The only thing I hate more than homosexuality is legalized homosexuality, and thats what gay marriage is.

Hearing that more states are going to allow these abominations to become legally sinful is absolutely wrong. I know that some may disagree with me, but those people are probably so closeted theyd need the Almighty himself to come down and flip on the light switch for them in order to find their way out. Sorry though, because no god would ever do that because homosexuality is an atrocity. In the eyes of many sexually afflicted deviants, they have come to believe themselves to be made that way. Since other minorities, such as blacks and women and the disabled, are made that way and have equality because of it, the homosexuals also think they can bandwagon and use this lie as a banner for their own. And they would be right to do so if homosexuality was somehow forced upon you. Just checking around, though, its pretty clear that who you choose to have sex with falls plainly under your own control. Obviously homosexuals just lack the same impulse control that actual humans have. Kim Kardashian is a prime example of how controlling your sexual impulses can only lead you to better places. Even if we ignore that homosexuality and sexual attraction is clearly under everyones control and that homosexuals just lack the willpower to try it with the right gender, they still bring up the bit about how homosexual parents wont raise a child poorly. In psychology, however, they teach you about nature vs. nurture and how the development of a child is heavily influenced by the parents. Do you think two homosexual deviants are going to raise in their care? Of course answered another homosexual, because thats the only outcome to homosexual parents; science proves it. Now, the raising of children isnt the only thing wrong with this situation. Out in the real world, the world away from the hippie dippy liberal fantasy and sheltering, there are real problems. Theres divorce, theres adultery, theres rape, and all sorts of terrible things. Thats okay though because its all straight people doing it. Have you ever thought what it would be like if we then had homosexuals doing it as well? I have, and it was a nightmare. No right thinking person would lead themselves down the path of homosexuality on purpose as most are tempted. Knowing the difference between right and wrong is hard for some people, and for most gays its very difficult. There are people who will tell you that Satan tempts homosexuals with the deviancy he offers but I dont buy into that because Im an atheist. However, I do think that there exists a mental defect in homosexuals which causes this disease. In science or in god, homosexuality is equally invalid as a lifestyle. So you may be wondering what the point of this all is, and how we as straights can use our dominant station to allow the lowly homosexual to ascend from their defective lives. If we are to be able to fix this epidemic and problem, then there must be a strategy. Since few have been brave enough to present such a strategy thus far, I have taken it upon myself to be the catalyst. To eliminate the homosexual threat, we must stand strong. Rich, poor, monogamous, polygamist, Christian or otherwise; we all must remain straight together. Until we do that, no ground can be gained.

Equality is nothing when faced with the purity and truth of what marriage today stands for. It stands for the love of your cousin, and second cousin, and both even if you so choose. Higher than all loves is the love marriage provides to those who use it again and again and again to obtain money and wealth so that they can (hopefully) sustain their many families. Of course, institutions like the Catholic Church and their clergy can be considered rallying points for what good a straight life can bring, but other institutions which promote the absolute intolerance and outright abuse of homosexuals like the military must also be cherished. People will cry out that marriage is not what it used to be, and theyd be correct; you used to be able rape a girl if you were a soldier and she would be forced to marry you. Even so and despite this mar on marriages beauty, we still have politicians and celebrities who stand up for what marriage is truly for. Tiger Woods, Newt Gingrich, and John F. Kennedy are all testaments to the sanctity and perseverance true, straight marriage requires. Hope is here, my friends. And its not just for straights. There are numerous camps, churches, and other well-meaning facilities that will help us combat this plague of love. With divorce rates thankfully up to nearly 50% and worldwide homosexual intolerance still justifiably remaining strong, there yet remains hope for all. And some countries even put homosexuals to death for it! Santorum, as well as the visionary Birther scholars, have remained some of the truest and most dedicated to the task of homosexual elimination in America; we thank them. Coming into this new decade, I hope to see the sanctity of marriage persevere among the many divorcees who are already its devoted and frequent fliers. Last year saw a flourish of corruption by gay individuals and agendas and a burst of so-called equality. Eventually, this may even lead to full-on support of gay marriage nationwide and, one day, fairness. And that, my friends, is something we as straights cannot abide. Regarding those of you who may think that his article is joke and have spare time on your hands, add up the first letters of every sentence up to this one and just read what it spells out. Stay frosty.