Introduction Divorce (or the dissolution of marriage) is the final termination of a marital union, canceling the legal duties

and responsibilities of marriage and dissolving the bonds of matrimony between the parties (unlike annulment, which declares the marriage null and void). Divorce laws vary considerably around the world, but in most countries it requires the sanction of a court or other authority in a legal process.(Murray & Kardatzke, 2009) The legal process of divorce may also involve issues of alimony (spousal support), child custody, child support, distribution of property, and division of debt. Where monogamy is law, divorce allows each former partner to marry another; where polygyny is legal but polyandry is not, divorce allows the woman to marry another.(Bryner, 2001) Between 1971 and 2011, several countries legalized divorce, the last one being Malta in 2011. The majority Catholic Philippines is the last officially secular country that does not have civil divorce for the whole population; Muslims, however, are granted divorce rights as per their religion. Vatican City, a ecclesiastical sovereign city-state, also has no procedure for divorce. In some Western jurisdictions, divorce (legally referred to as 'dissolution of marriage') does not require a party to assert fault on the part of their partner leading to the breakdown of their marriage. Prior to the onset of 'no-fault' statutes, a party would have to prove a ground, typically 'desertion,' 'abandonment,' 'cruelty,' or 'adultery.' The requirement of proving a ground was revised (and withdrawn) by the terms of 'no-fault' statutes, which became popular in the United Kingdom, Australia, the United States, Canada, South Africa, and New Zealand in the late 1960s and early 1970s. In 'no-fault' jurisdictions, a simple, general allegation of 'irreconcilable

differences,' or 'irretrievable break-down' with respect to the marriage relationship, sufficed to establish the end of the marriage.(Rahmatian, 1996) In jurisdictions adopting the 'no-fault' principle in divorce proceedings, some courts may still take into account the behaviour of the parties when dividing property, debts, evaluating custody, and supportfacts that almost always have considerable weight in fault proceedings.[citation needed] This is particularly true in custody cases, where the courts might consider many factors that mirror 'fault' grounds, such as drug abuse, alcoholism, violence, cruelty, instability, neglect, and possibly the preference of an intelligent, mature child.(Westman, 1983) Despite this, in some countries (or states of the United States), the courts will seldom apply principles of fault, but might willingly hold a party liable for a breach of a fiduciary duty to his or her spouse (for example, see Family Code Sections 720 and 1100 of the California Family Code).(Bryner, 2001; Rahmatian, 1996) In most jurisdictions, a divorce must be certified (or ordered by a Judge) by a court of law to come into effect. The terms of the divorce are usually determined by the courts, though they may take into account prenuptial agreements or post-nuptial agreements, or simply ratify terms that the spouses may have agreed to privately (this is not true in the United States, where agreements related to the marriage typically have to be rendered in writing to be enforceable). In absence of agreement, a contested divorce may be stressful to the spouses. Contested divorces mean that one of several issues are required to be heard by a judge at trial levelthis is more expensive, and the parties will have to pay for a lawyer's time and preparation. Less adversarial approaches to divorce settlements have recently emerged, such as mediation and collaborative divorce settlement, which negotiate mutually acceptable resolution to conflicts. This principle in the

United

States

is

called

'Alternative

Dispute

Resolution'

and

continues

to

gain

popularity.(Rahmatian, 1996) In some other countries, when the spouses agree to divorce and to the terms of the divorce, it can be certified by a non-judiciary administrative entity. The effect of a divorce is that both parties are free to marry again.(Cohen, 2002) The subject of divorce as a social phenomenon is an important research topic in sociology. In many developed countries, divorce rates increased markedly during the twentieth century. Among the nations in which divorce has become commonplace are the United States, Canada, Australia, Germany, Scandinavia, and the United Kingdom. Impact of Divorce Some of the effects associated with divorce include academic, behavioral, and psychological problems. Although this may not always be true, studies suggest that children from divorced families are more likely to exhibit such behavioral issues than those from non-divorced families.(Bernstein & Robey, 1962; Conway, Christensen, & Herlihy, 2003) Divorce and Relationships Research done at Northern Illinois University on Family and Child Studies suggests that divorce can have a positive affect on families due to less conflict in the home. There are, however, many instances where the parent-child relationship may suffer due to divorce. Financial support is many times lost when an adult goes through a divorce. The adult may be obligated to obtain additional work to maintain financial stability. In turn, this can lead to a negative relationship

between the parent and child. The relationship may suffer due to lack of attention towards the child as well as minimal parental supervision.(Conway et al., 2003) Studies have also shown that parental skills decrease after a divorce occurs; however, this affect is only a temporary change. A number of researchers have shown that a disequilibrium, including diminished parenting skills, occurs in the year following the divorce but that by two years after the divorce re-stabilization has occurred and parenting skills have improved (Cohen, 2002; Long & Burnett, 2005) In a study done by the American Psychological Association on a parents relocation after a divorce, found that a move is a long-term affect on children. In the first study done amongst 2,000 college students on the effects of parental relocation relating to the well being if their children after divorce, researchers found major differences. In divorced families where one parent moved, the students received less financial support from their parents compared with divorced families where neither parent moved. These findings also imply other negative outcomes for these students such as more distress related to the divorce and did not feel a sense of emotional support from their parents. Although the data suggests negative outcomes for these students whose parents relocate after divorce, there is not enough research that can alone prove the overall well-being of the child.(Murray & Kardatzke, 2009) A newer study in the Journal of Family Psychology found that parents who move more than an hour away from their children after a divorce are much less well off than those parents who stayed in the same location. Divorce and Academic Achievements Children who have experienced a divorce frequently have lower academic achievement than children from non-divorced families. (Bryner, 2001; Murray & Kardatzke, 2009; Westman, 4

1983)In a review done on family and school factors related to adolescents academic performance, it noted that it is two times more likely for a child from a divorced family to drop out of high school than a child from a non-divorced family. These children from divorced families may also be less likely to attend college, resulting in the discontinuation of their academic career(Bernstein & Robey, 1962) Many times academic problems are associated with those children from single-parent families. Studies have shown that this issue may be directly related to the economical influence of divorce. A divorce may result in the parent and children moving to an area with a higher poverty rate and a poor education system all due to the financial struggles of a single parent.(Westman, 1983) Medical Recent sociological studies have pointed to a variety of long-term economic, social, physical, and mental health consequences of divorce, although the full extent of such effects remains hotly debated. All the studies to date suffer from an inherent methodological weakness which researchers have not yet found a solution to: establishing the relevant baseline for comparisons. By definition, all divorces are of unhappy couples; meanwhile, those who do not divorce are some mix of happy couples and of unhappy ones who stayed married. Comparisons of life outcomes or well-being along the simple divorced/not divorced axis will therefore always show poorer outcomes for the group which is composed entirely of unhappy couples, demonstrating simply that being part of a happy couple is better than being part of an unhappy one. Any list of formal sociological articles on aftereffects of divorce would quickly become obsolete, but among the more accessible books are works by (Conway et al., 2003)(reports long-term negative effects of divorce on children) and (Bryner, 2001) (reports that not all kids fare so 5

badly, and that divorce can actually help children living in high-conflict homes such as those with domestic violence). While a variety of studies, articles, and all too familiar "parenting magazine" articles each have a different idea of the best way to minimize the effects of divorce on children, the issue will almost always depend on the divorce itself. A peaceful divorce will naturally have less of an impact on children, disregarding of course external factors such as how attached children are to each parent, the visitation rights arranged, and the general environment the children are brought up in. Recent longtitudinal studies have reported that most divorced people are no happier after divorce. University of Chicago sociologist Linda Waite analyzed the relationships between marriage, divorce and happiness using the National Survey of Family and Households. She reported that unhappily married adults who had divorced were no happier than those who had stayed married.[3] Some studies report that cohabitation before marriage is correlated with an increased divorce rate.(Murray & Kardatzke, 2009) Attempts to assess the impact of divorce on children are inherently compromised by the same methodological problem as with adults: establishing the relevant baseline for comparisons. By definition, virtually all children of divorce are from unhappy families; meanwhile, children whose parents never divorced are from some mix of happy families and unhappy ones (parents who stayed married despite an unhappy marital relationship). Comparisons of life outcomes or well-being along the simple divorced/not divorced axis naturally always show poorer outcomes for the group that is composed entirely of children of unhappy families, demonstrating simply that being the child of happy parents is better than being the child of unhappy ones. The actual question of interest is whether being a child of unhappy parents who divorce is better or worse than being a child of unhappy parents who do not divorce. Establishing data for that comparison 6

would require being able to identify with reasonable certainty the subset of nondivorced parents who are nonetheless deeply unhappy with each other, something no researcher has found a way to do at a meaningful scale. From work that has been done along the flawed axis described above, it is said that was until recently generally assumed that children's difficulties with divorce, while common, were shortlived. However, recent authors have argued that a major cost to children comes long after: when they attempt to form stable marriages themselves. There is extensive and heated debate over just how much harm, just how many children are harmed to what extent, what factors mediate the harm, and so on. Professor Mavis Hetherington of the University of Virginia reports that 70% of children coming from divorced families consider divorce an adequate answer to marital problems (even if children are present), compared to only 40% of children from non-divorced families. Children of divorced parents (those entirely from unhappy families) are reported to have a higher chance of behavioral problems than those of non-divorced parents (a mix of happy and unhappy families). Studies have also reported the former to be more likely to suffer abuse than children in intact families, and to have a greater chance of living in poverty. A 2002 article in Clinical child and Family Psychology Review discusses a variety of health consequences for children of the unhappy couples that do divorce.(Cohen, 2002)Constance Ahron, who has published books suggesting there may be positive effects for children, interviewed ninety-eight divorced families' children for We're Still Family: What Grown Children Have to Say About Their Parents' Divorce.(Conway et al., 2003) Since by definition all children of divorced parents had lived in unhappy homes, they unsurprisingly reported numerous unhappy experiences. Numerous subjects said things like "I saw some of the things my parents did and know not to do that in my marriage and see the way they treated each other and know not to do that to my spouse and my 7

children. I know [the divorce] has made me more committed to my husband and my children." Ahron's method of asking adult children of divorce how they feel about it also has the wellknown weaknesses of "self-report" studies. Researchers have reported that in cases of extremely high conflict, divorce can be positive. An article in the Oklahoma Bar Journal defines "high conflict" in terms of ongoing litigation, anger and distress, verbal abuse, physical aggression or threats of physical aggression, difficulty in communicating about and cooperating in child care, or other court-determined factors.[8] Studies have claimed that people who have been in divorced families have higher rates of alcoholism and other substance abuse compared to those who have never been divorced. Robert H. Coombs, Professor of Behavioral Sciences at UCLA, reviewed over 130 studies measuring how marital status affects personal well-being. have higher rates of clinical depression. Family disruption and low socioeconomic status in early childhood increase the long-term risk for major depression(Goldzband, 2000) seek formal psychiatric care at higher rates. Studies vary, suggesting from 5 to 21 times the risk, and vary over whether men or women are more seriously affected(Long & Burnett, 2005; Murray & Kardatzke, 2009) in the case of men, are more likely to commit suicide at some point in their lives, according to a study by Augustine Kposowa, a University of California at Riverside sociologist.(Bernstein & Robey, 1962) .This study quantified earlier work that estimated an increased risk of 2.7 times for men(Goldzband, 2000) have lower life expectancies overall(Bernstein & Robey, 1962; Bryner, 2001; Long & Burnett, 2005; Murray & Kardatzke, 2009; Westman, 1983)

Studies have also claimed positive correlations between divorce and rates of: stroke(Cohen, 2002) cancer. Married cancer patients are also more likely to recover than divorced ones.[23] acute infectious diseases, parasitic diseases, respiratory illnesses, digestive illnesses, and severe injuries. See the article Black Men And Divorce: Implications For Culturally Competent Practice.(Goldzband, 2000) In support of these particular claims, that article cites the U.S. Bureau of the Census Population profile of the United States in 1991 and an article by S. L. Albrecht on Reactions and adjustments to divorce. heart problems. Some research suggests that childhood trauma, including parental divorce, can lead to much greater risk of heart attack in later life(Malumfashi & Yakasai, 2002) Combined with job stress, divorce led to a 69% increase of death rate among men with above average risk of heart disease. rheumatoid arthritis and osteoarthritis. A 2002 article in the Journal of Rheumatology shows a 30% increase in risk at any given age. (Ibrahim, 2002) A 2003 article in the Canadian Journal of Public Health finds that parental divorce leads to increased risk of arthritis for children later in life.[30] sexually transmitted diseases. For example, in Uganda "Results from a baseline survey of HIV-1 infection in the cohort of over 4,000 adults (over 12 years old) showed a twofold increase in risk

of infection in divorced or separated persons when compared with those who are married."(Ibrahim, 2002) Causes of Divorce An annual study in the UK by management consultants Grant Thornton, estimates the main proximal causes of divorce based on surveys of matrimonial lawyers.[66] The main causes in 2004 were: Adultery; Extramarital sex; Infidelity - 27% Domestic violence - 17% Midlife crisis - 13% Addictions, e.g. alcoholism and gambling - 6% Workaholism - 6% According to this survey, husbands engaged in extramarital affairs in 75% of cases; wives in 25%. In cases of family strain, wives' families were the primary source of strain in 78%, compared to 22% of husbands' families. Emotional and physical abuse were more evenly split, with wives affected in 60% and husbands in 40% of cases. In 70% of workaholism-related divorces it was husbands who were the cause, and in 30%, wives. The 2004 survey found that 93% of divorce cases were petitioned by wives, very few of which were contested. 53% of divorces were of marriages that had lasted 10 to 15 years, with 40% ending after 5 to 10 years. The first 5 years are relatively divorce-free, and if a marriage survives more than 20 years it is unlikely to end in divorce.

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The age at which a person gets married is also believed to influence the likelihood of divorce; delaying marriage may provide more opportunity or experience in choosing a compatible partner.[25] Marital Counseling Relationship counseling is the process of counseling the parties of a relationship in an effort to recognize and to better manage or reconcile troublesome differences and repeating patterns of distress. The relationship involved may be between members of a family or a couple, employees or employers in a workplace, or between a professional and a client. Gage-Brandon (1992) Couple therapy (or relationship therapy) is a related and different process. It may differ from relationship counseling in duration. Short term counseling may be between 1 to 3 sessions whereas long term couples therapy may be between 12 and 24 sessions. An exception is brief or solution focused couples therapy. In addition, counseling tends to be more 'here and now' and new coping strategies the outcome. Couples therapy is more about seemingly intractable problems with a relationship history, where emotions are the target and the agent of change. Rapoport (2005) Marriage counseling or marital therapy can refer to either or some combination of the above. The methods may differ in other ways as well, but the differences may indicate more about the counselor/therapist's way of working than the title given to their process. Both methods also can be acquired for no charge, depending on your needs. For more information about getting the care that may be required, one should make a call to a local hospital or healthcare professional. Bryner (2001).

11

History of Marriage Counselling Marriage counseling originated in Germany in the 1920s as part of the eugenics movement.The first institutes for marriage counseling in the USA began in the 1930s, partly in response to Germany's medically directed, racial purification marriage counseling centres. It was promoted in the USA by both eugenicists such as Paul Popenoe and Robert Latou Dickinson and by birth control advocates such as Abraham and Hannah Stone who wrote 'A Marriage Manual' in 1935 and were involved with Planned Parenthood Rapoport (2005). Other founders in USA include Lena Levine and Margaret Sanger Gage-Brandon (1992) It wasn't until the 1950s that therapists began treating psychological problems in the context of the family. Matthew(2010) Relationship counseling as a discrete, professional service is thus a recent phenomenon. Until the late 20th century, the work of relationship counseling was informally fulfilled by close friends, family members, or local religious leaders. Psychiatrists, psychologists, counselors and social workers have historically dealt primarily with individual psychological problems in a medical and psychoanalytic framework. Matthew(2010) In many less technologically advanced cultures around the world today, the institution of family, the village or group elders fulfil the work of relationship counseling. Today marriage mentoring mirrors those cultures. With increasing modernization or westernization in many parts of the world and the continuous shift towards isolated nuclear families the trend is towards trained and accredited relationship counselors or couple therapists. Sometimes volunteers are trained by either the Government or social service institutions to help those who are in need of family or marital counseling. Many communities and government departments have their own team of trained voluntary and

12

professional relationship counselors. Similar services are operated by many universities and colleges, sometimes staffed by volunteers from among the student peer group. Some large companies maintain a full-time professional counseling staff to facilitate smoother interactions between corporate employees, to minimize the negative effects that personal difficulties might have on work performance. Increasingly there is a trend toward professional certification and government registration of these services. This is in part due to the presence of duty of care issues and the consequences of the counselor or therapist's services being provided in a fiduciary relationship. See also alienation of affection. Before a relationship between individuals can begin to be understood, it is important to recognize and acknowledge that each person, including the counselor, has a unique personality, perception, set of values and history. Individuals in the relationship may adhere to different and unexamined value systems. Institutional and societal variables (like the social, religious, group and other collective factors) which shape a person's nature, and behavior are considered in the process of counseling and therapy. A tenet of relationship counseling is that it is intrinsically beneficial for all the participants to interact with each other and with society at large with optimal amounts of conflict. A couple's conflict resolution skills seems to predict divorce rates. Bryner(2001) Most relationships will get strained at some time, resulting in their not functioning optimally and producing self-reinforcing, maladaptive patterns. These patterns may be called negative interaction cycles. There are many possible reasons for this, including insecure attachment, ego, arrogance, jealousy, anger, greed, poor communication/understanding or problem solving, ill health, third parties and so on.

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Changes in situations like financial state, physical health, and the influence of other family members can have a profound influence on the conduct, responses and actions of the individuals in a relationship. Often it is an interaction between two or more factors, and frequently it is not just one of the people who are involved that exhibit such traits. Relationship influences are reciprocal - it takes each person involved to make and manage problems. A viable solution to the problem and setting these relationships back on track may be to reorient the individuals' perceptions and emotions - how one looks at or responds to situations and feels about them. Perceptions of and emotional responses to a relationship are contained within an often unexamined mental map of the relationship, also called a love map by John Gottman. These can be explored collaboratively and discussed openly. The core values they comprise can then be understood and respected or changed when no longer appropriate. This implies that each person takes equal responsibility for awareness of the problem as it arises, awareness of their own contribution to the problem and making some fundamental changes in thought and feeling. The next step is to adopt conscious, structural changes to the inter-personal relationships and evaluate the effectiveness of those changes over time. Indeed, "typically for those close personal relations there is a certain degree in 'interdependence' - which means that the partners are alternately mutually dependent on each other. As a special aspect of such relations something contradictory is put outside: the need for intimacy and for autonomy."

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"The common counterbalancing satisfaction these both needs, intimacy and autonomy, leads to alternately satisfaction in the relationship and stability. But it depends on the specific developing duties of each partner in every life phase and maturity". Bryner, (2001) Counseling Interventions for Divorcees Some issues that create couple conflict and reduce marital satisfaction center on relationship and/or family priorities such as dual earner households, different work schedules, lack of time together, the absence of effective coping strategies, the needs or demands of children, and conflicts over extended family members (Pazaratz, 2003).Divorce issues include a number of statistics that can either be reassuring or daunting to couples, i.e., one third to two thirds of all first time marriages end in divorce in the U.S. Sixty percent of those who remarry are likely to divorce again (U.S. Census Board, 2003).Yet, these statistics should not be used to frighten couples into maintaining their marriage. There are a host of reasons that couples divorce (Pam & Pearsen, 1998). However, there may be some variables that are predictive of divorce, but can be changed to help establish a healthier more fulfilling marriage (Hargrave, 2000). The divorce process is composed of three stages, pre-divorce, divorce transition and post divorce (Pam & Pearsen, 1998). While most couples go through the stages at different rates and are affected differentially, not all couples find divorce a difficult adjustment. Nevertheless, when there are children the impact on them can be as devastating as it is for their parents (Brubaker & Kimberly, 1993). Some ethical questions concerning divorce includes whether no fault divorce should exclude children from any involvement in the process, or eventual outcome, such as which parent should have custody, the nature of visitation, 15

Implications for Counsellors According to ethical guidelines of the American Counseling Association (2005),during the first session, therapists are required to acquire informed consent, advise clients about alternative treatments, discuss the limits of confidentiality, and the benefits and risks of counseling. It is crucial that informed decisions are made concerning the course of treatment (Corey,Corey & Cul lanan, 1998). The practitioner helps clients to understand the consequences of the decisions they make. The counselor will attempt to clarify and adjust, or withdraw from potentially conflicting roles (American Counseling Association, 2005). In couple and family counseling assessment is an ongoing process (Weeks & Treat,. 1992). The counselor collaborates with the couple to explore issues, identify problems, set goals and to reevaluate adherence and progress (Schwartz, 1995). Counseling sessions also address child rearing issues, intimacy, conflict and infidelity (Ginsberg, 1997). There can be special issues that makes coupling challenging and difficult, such as alcohol/ drug use, blended families, dual careers, same sex couples, partner violence, and extended family (Weeks & Treat, 1992). Couples experience greater interpersonal differences when they pursue a self-serving lifestyle, perspective or priority (Pazaratz, 2004a). Clarifying relationship dynamics helps couples to understand their own feelings and the source of their unhappiness and problems (Pazaratz, 2003). Ultimately, the therapist encourages and advocates that partners, or family members, evaluate and take responsibility for their behaviors and to pursue more satisfying new behaviors (Glasser,1997).Thenature ofcounseling interactions includes helping the couple to find the middle ground between pessimism and being overly optimistic (Pazaratz, 2004b).Thisis accomplished by teaching spouses and family members to understand each other's point of view an.dto be able to regain the middle ground (Pazaratz, 2003). 16

Approximately sixty percent of couples entering marriage counseling have reported at least one incident of partner violence. Physical abuse in couples if left untreated will escalate over time (O'Leary, 1995). The seriousness of this issue requires the therapist, in the initial session, to determine whether physical force is a factor (Freedman, 2000). Where there is on-going abuse, regardless of who is the perpetrator, the safety of the victim and cessation of violence is paramount (Hultzworth-Munroe, Beatty,&Anglin, 1995).Spousal assault creates legal and ethical issues for the counselor (Huber & Baruth, 1987). The questions that arise are: whether the therapist should influence the couple to save the relationship? At what point does the relationship become too dangerous? Should the therapist encourage or merely support one or both parties to divorce? Should the therapist point out that when individuals decide to divorce this does not necessarily mean that they do not want to be married, rather they have different preferences since the majority remarry (Brubaker & Kimberly, 1993)? To be competent in family and couple counseling ethical practices require skills that are based upon sufficient training and supervised experience (American Counseling Association, 2005). In working with couples or families, therapists clarify at the start which is the client and the nature of the relationship they will enact with the others throughout the counseling process (Huber & Baruth, 1987). Clients are informed of the purposes, goals, techniques, procedures, limitations, potential risks and benefits of services to be delivered (American Counseling Association, 2005). There are extreme pressures in counseling for the therapist to take sides or to identify with one partner over another (Freedman, 2000). These intense counter transference feelings can be provoked because of the therapist's own issues, background, philosophy and experience (Wallerstein, 1990). The practitioner's bias can also arise because of the events that transpire

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between the couple. The counselor must avoid the tendency to view one or both partners or any family member as either good or incorrigible. Confidentiality of each individual member in couple or family counseling must be protected (Huber &Baruth, 1997). At the start therapists acknowledge that information will not be disclosed about family members without written permission from all competent persons (American Counseling Association, 2005). Where there are concurrent individual and family sessions, issues that arise individually are not discussed by the therapist later in couple or family sessions (Huber & Baruth). Persuading parents to continue a marriage for the sake of the children is contrary to working for the well being of all individual clients in the family (Huber, 1994).Competency to practice couple and marriage counseling includes the understanding that many ethical questions cannot be answered by ethical codes alone (Huber & Baruth). However, the practitioner can be guided by fidelity, or loyal to the client and the promises made, to respect each client's integrity and advance the well-being of all members of a dyad or family (American Counseling Association, 2005). Conclusion A core principle of couple counseling is that people enter into and stay in relationships where positive reinforcers are exchanged (Dindia & Baxter, 1987). Couples typically seek counseling when negative dynamics become predominant creating conflict and unhappiness (Pazaratz, 2004a). They present either with relationship dissatisfaction or disturbance (DiGuiseppe & Lee, 1986). An overlay of disturbance can become an additional potential source of dissatisfaction in the relationship (Ellis, 1986). Understanding of the relationship and interpersonal dynamics is a significant component of therapeutic intervention (Minuchin & Fishman, 1981).The therapist

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establishes treatment goals that are designed to engage couples in collaborative change; to modify behaviors, to develop attunement and to increase positive communication or mutually supportive patterns (Ginsberg, 1997).Repetitive interactions enable the counselor to offer interpretations, fresh perspectives and clinical insights (Fishman, Fernandes & Humphrey, 1993). Many couple and marriage counselors are eclectic in their methods. However, in relationship centered counseling there are fundamental core philosophical principles that practitioners utilize to develop a therapeutic alliance such as empathy, genuineness and positive regard (Dindra & Baxter, 1987). In the person centered technique it is also considered imperative for the clinician to be reflective, or understanding of the individual's reasoning process, solution focused and to highlight each mate's existing abilities, resources and inner strengths (Pazaratz, 2003).

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References Bernstein, N. R., & Robey, J. S. (1962). The Detection and Management of Pediatric Difficulties Created by Divorce. Pediatrics, 30(6), 950-956. Bryner, C. L. (2001). Children of Divorce. The Journal of the American Board of Family Practice, 14(3), 201-210. Cohen, G. J. (2002). Helping Children and Families Deal With Divorce and Separation. Pediatrics, 110(5), 1019-1023. Conway, M. B., Christensen, T. M., & Herlihy, B. (2003). Adult Children of Divorce and Intimate Relationships: Implications for Counseling. The Family Journal, 11(4), 364-373. doi:10.1177/1066480703255609 Goldzband, M. G. (2000). All Gods Children: Religion, Divorce, and Child Custody. Journal of the American Academy of Psychiatry and the Law Online, 28(4), 408-423. Ibrahim, M. T. O. (2002). Widows, divorcees and HIV/AIDS: prospective interventions in predominantly Muslim communities. The rights of widows and divorcees in Hausa/Fulani society, 151. Long, L. L., & Burnett, J. A. (2005). Teaching Couples Counseling: An Integrative Model. The Family Journal, 13(3), 321-327. doi:10.1177/1066480704273815 Malumfashi, I. A. M., & Yakasai, S. A. (2002). DIVORCE AND WIDOWHOOD IN NORTHERN NIGERIA: POPULATION PRESSURE OR SOCIAL INEQUALITY? A STUDY FROM SOKOTO STATE. The rights of widows and divorcees in Hausa/Fulani society, 38.

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Murray, C. E., & Kardatzke, K. N. (2009). Addressing the Needs of Adult Children of Divorce in Premarital Counseling: Research-Based Guidelines for Practice. The Family Journal, 17(2), 126-133. doi:10.1177/1066480709332635 Rahmatian, A. (1996). Termination of Marriage in Nigerian Family Laws: The Need for Reform and the Relevance of the Tanzanian Experience. International Journal of Law, Policy and the Family, 10(3), 281-316. doi:10.1093/lawfam/10.3.281 Westman, J. C. (1983). The Impact of Divorce on Teenagers. Clinical Pediatrics, 22(10), 692697. doi:10.1177/000992288302201004

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