SIDHARTH GUPTA 50-MBA-13

Introduction
Transactional Analysis is a social psychology and a method to improve communication. The theory outlines how we treat ourselves, how we relate and communicate with others, and offers suggestions and interventions which will enable us to change and grow. A model for explaining why and how: - People think like they do - People act like they do - People interact/communicate with others

Ego States
Eric Berne believed that when we interact with other people, our state of mind affects what happens He believed that there were three states of mind in all humans, no matter how old they were, called ego states.

ADULT PARENT CHILD

Parent Ego state

This is a set of feelings, thinking and behavior that we have copied from our parents and significant others. As we grow up we take in ideas, beliefs, feelings and behaviors from our parents and caretakers. If we live in an extended family then there are more people to learn and take in from. When we do this, it is called introjection and it is just as if we take in the whole of the care giver.

 The Nurturing Parent is caring and concerned and often may appear as a mother-figure (though men can play it too). They seek to keep the Child contented, offering a safe haven and unconditional love to calm the Child's troubles.

The Critical Parent, on the other hand, tries to make the Child do as the parent wants them to do, perhaps transferring values or beliefs or helping the Child to understand and live in society. They may also have negative intent, using the Child as a whipping-boy or worse.

Adult Ego State

The Adult ego state is about direct responses to the here and now. We deal with things that are going on today in ways that are not unhealthily influenced by our past.

The Adult in us is the 'grown up' rational person who talks reasonably and assertively, neither trying to control nor reacting aggressively towards others. The Adult is comfortable with themself and is, for many of us, our 'ideal self'.

Child Ego State

Thoughts, feelings, attitudes, behavioral patterns based on child-like emotions, impulses, feelings we have experienced
Child-like examples Impulsive Self-centered Angry Fearful Happy Pleasure seeking Rebellious Happy Curious Eager to please

 The Natural Child is largely un-self-aware and is characterized by the non-speech noises they make (yahoo, whee, etc.). They like playing and are open and vulnerable.

The cutely-named Little Professor is the curious and exploring Child who is always trying out new stuff (often much to their Controlling Parent's annoyance). Together with the Natural Child they make up the Free Child.

 The Adaptive Child reacts to the world around them, either changing themselves to fit in or rebelling against the forces they feel.

Examples Describing Diff. EGO STATES

1. 2. 3. 4. Its not my fault my drink got spilt on your new carpet I wonder what might have caused that accident For goodness sake, clean up that mess. Shall we clean up the mess together with a wet cloth?
ADULT

CHILD

5.

I refuse to get involved in this incident.

PARENT

TRANSACTIONS
STIMULOUS RESPONSE

Transactions
Berne said that when people are in their different ego states and they interact with other people, four main types of transaction (or interaction) can happen. To make it easy to analyse what is happening, Berne developed a little diagram like this, to represent a person with their three ego states Parent, Adult and Child.

P
Interacts with Person B on right

P
A C

TRANSACTIONS

P A C
COMPLEMENTARY

P A C

Complementary Transactions
This is a complementary transaction because the employee accepts the child ego state assigned to him by the manager and responds in child ego state.

P
A C
MANAGER
Youre three hours late, I want an explanation.

P
A C
EMPLOYEE
Im really sorry, I slept through the alarm, it wont happen again, I promise.

TRANSACTIONS

P A C
CROSSED

P A C

Crossed Transaction
P
A C
MANAGER
Youre three hours late, I want an explanation.

P
A C
EMPLOYEE
Oh, didnt you get held up by that crash on the motorway as well?

This is a crossed transaction because although the manager, parent ego state, attempted to address the employee as a child, the employee refuses this ego state and responds in adult ego state to the managers ego state.
A crossed transaction is any transaction where the person being spoken to refuses the ego state they are assigned by the first speaker.

Angular Transaction
P
A C
SALES PERSON
Thats the latest iPod and theres 50% off at the moment, if you are interested

P A

C
CUSTOMER
Wow, thats amazing Ill take one!

This is an Angular Transaction because the sales person is talking on more than one level, appearing to address the customers Adult ego state but trying to hook the customers Child ego state, because the Child is impulsive and may be seduced by the 50% off the iPod and buy it! This is what happens, and the customer answers in Child ego state and buys the iPod!

TRANSACTIONS

P A C

MESSAGES WITH DOUBLE/ HIDDEN MEANINGS

P A C

DUPLEX

Duplex Transaction
P
Social Level

P A
Psychological Level

A
C
BOY Do you come here often? WOW!! youre
gorgeous

C
GIRL No, not really, do you?

This is a Duplex Transaction because the whole interaction is working on two levels. Both people are pretending to address Adult ego state and be in Adult ego state but they are both in Child ego state and want to address Child ego state but cant because of social norms and manners.

Wish youd just kiss me!

Life Positions
Berne believed that a lot of people get stuck in one ego state more than the other two and that this may be due to early childhood experiences. His theory was that in childhood we have a life position assigned to us, because of the experiences we have from birth onwards. Acc. To Berne there are four possible life positions Im OK, Youre OK Im OK, Youre not OK Im not OK, Youre OK Im not OK, Youre not OK

Life positions (continued)

Berne believes that everyone is born in the same Life Position :Im not OK, Youre OK The reason you are not OK when you are born is because you are dependent on others for all your needs. They are OK, because they have the ability to satisfy their own needs and your needs.

The Ideal Life Position

Berne says the ideal life position to reach is Im OK, Youre OK, where you are in a position to satisfy your own needs and are happy that others are able to satisfy their needs. However, some people dont progress to this happy state, they get stuck in either
Im not OK, Youre not OK Im OK, Youre not OK

He says this happens because of the wrong kind of experiences in childhood which result in either very low self esteem or too high self esteem.

Intonations: Its the Way You Say It!

Placement of the emphasis Why dont I take you to dinner tonight? Why dont I take you to dinner tonight? Why dont I take you to dinner tonight? What it means I was going to take someone else. Instead of the guy you were going with. Im trying to find a reason why I shouldnt take you. Do you have a problem with me? Instead of going on your own. Instead of lunch tomorrow. Not tomorrow night.

Why dont I take you to dinner tonight? Why dont I take you to dinner tonight? Why dont I take you to dinner tonight? Why dont I take you to dinner tonight?