 Listening : the process of receiving,

constructing meaning from, and responding

to spoken and/or nonverbal messages; to
hear something with thoughtful attention
 Effective communication is 2-way

◦ depends on speaking and listening

When you have ears, you can
hear everything within
hearing range; but that
doesn’t necessarily mean
you understand what you
heard. Listening, on the
other hand, is a skill.
Hearing- physical process; natural;
passive

Listening- physical & mental

process; active; learned process; a
skill

Listening is hard!
You must choose to
participate in the process
of listening.
 Listening…. the psychological process
of receiving, attending to, constructing
meaning from, and responding to
spoken or nonverbal messages

 Hearing = physiological
 Listening = psychological
 We listen at 125-250 wpm, think at
1000-3000 wpm
 75% of the time we are distracted,
preoccupied or forgetful
 20% of the time, we remember what
we hear
 More than 35% of businesses think
listening is a top skill for success
 Less than 2% of people have had
formal education with listening
 85% of what we know is from listening
 45%of our time is spent on listening
 A person recalls 50%of what they just heard
 ….only 20%of it is remembered long term
 Mode of Formal Years Percentage of
Communication of Training Time Used
Writing 12 years 9%

Reading 6-8 years 16 %

Speaking 1-2 years 30%

Listening 0-few hours 45%

 To be recognized and remembered
 To feel valued
 To feel appreciated
 To feel respected
 To feel understood
 To feel comfortable about a want or

need
Listening is the most powerful
form of acknowledgment

…a way of saying, “You are

important.”
Listening promotes being heard

‘Seek first to understand, then be

understood’
- Stephen Covey
Listening creates acceptance and
openness

…conveys the message that “I am

not judging you.”
Listening leads to learning

…openness encourages personal

growth and learning
Listening reduces stress and tension
…minimizes confusion and
misunderstanding, eliminating related
stress and tension
Listening is CRITICAL in conflict
resolution
…much conflict comes from the need to
be heard. Successful resolution depends
on being a non-anxious presence.
 Class exercise
Mr Anjayah suffered with a heart attack on Monday night and
was hospitalized on Tuesday ,staff took good care of him .He
expired on Thursday ,the relatives blame the hospital for miss
management .The head nurse and the doctor who operated on
Mr. Anjayah left the hospital and joined a hospital in a small
town very far away .
Mark :True (T) 2. False (F) 3. Don’t know (DK)
1.59 yr old Mr. Anjayah was hospitalized the next day after he
suffered from a heart attack
2.He died 3 days after the attack.
3.It was the fault of the head nurse and the doctor
4.They were suspended because Mr. Anjayah expired .
5.The hospital was disgraced after the incident
6.The staff took good care of him
7.The hospital struggled very long to get back its reputation
Equate With Listening for Facts
Hearing Personal Concerns
Uninteresting Personal Bias
Topics Language/Culture
Speaker’s Delivery Differences
External Faking Attention
Distractions
Mentally Preparing
Response
 Criticizing the subject or the speaker
 Getting over-stimulated
 Listening only for facts
 Not taking notes OR outlining everything
 Tolerating or creating distraction
 Letting emotional words block message
 Wasting time difference between speed of

speech and speed of thought

Non-Verbal Encouragers
Head nods ,wink ,blush ,frown , shrug

Verbal Encouragers
Hmm! ,ok , really?, ha ha
 … Allows you to make sure you hear the
words and understand the meaning behind
the words
 Goal: go beyond listening to understanding
 Definite Intent to Listen
 Focus on the Speaker
 Verbal and Non-Verbal Encouragers
 Feedback Loop to Insure Accuracy
1. Listen
2. Question
3. Reflect-
Paraphrase
4. Acknowledge
 To Feelings As Well As Words
◦ Words – Emotions -- Implications
 Focus on Speaker
◦ Don’t plan, speak, or get distracted
 What Is Speaker Talking About?
◦ Topic? Speaker? Listener? Others?
 Look At Speaker
 Use Verbal & Non-Verbal Encouragers
 3 Purposes
◦ Demonstrates you are listening
◦ Gather information
◦ Clarification
 Open-ended
◦ Tell me more?
◦ How did you feel?
◦ Then what happened?
 Reflect What Is Said (In your words)
 Reflect Feelings
 Reframe

◦ Capture the essence of the communication

◦ Remove negative framing
◦ Move toward problem solving
 Get Speaker’s Consent to Your Reframing
 Speaker Has Been Heard and Knows It!
 Solution Is Near!
 Speaker – talk for 2
min.
 Listener – listen

using the skills

we’ve discussed
 Observer – observe

the application of
the skills and take
notes

Why is learning about listening important?

#1 Various aspects of life

Relationships
Academics

Personal development
Physical
 #2 For Public Speaking
◦ Helps speaker to understand
audience

 #3 Helps us become better

listeners and evaluators of
public speaking.
#1 Discriminative- listening between the
lines
#2 Comprehensive- take it all in – not
evaluate
#3 Appreciative – pleasure
#4 Empathic – to support, help, comfort
#5 Critical – analyze, assign worth

SIER Model React – assign

worth
Evaluate – judge
Interpret - understand
Sense - hear
 6 bad habits - how do we fight them?
◦ #1 Becoming distracted
◦ #2 Faking attention – pseudo listening
◦ #3 Being unprepared
◦ #4 Prejudging the speaker
◦ #5 Mentally arguing or jumping to conclusions
(defensive listening, ambushing, script writing)
◦ #6 Listening too hard
Trying to remember every detail- literal listening
 6 Tools for critical thinking
◦ #1 Evaluate evidence
◦ #2 Analyze assumptions and bias
◦ #3 Resist; false dilemmas, over-
generalizations, either/or thinking
◦ #4 Identify contradictions
◦ #5 Consider multiple perspectives
◦ #6 Summarize and judge
 Constant Interplay
 Circular Response/ Can you adjust ?

◦ Length
◦ Lingo
◦ Examples
◦ Jokes/ Attention getters
◦ Mood
 Selective Listening –
◦ Pay attention to interests
◦ Sort info on basis of what already know
-schemata
 External Obstacles
◦ Overload, complexity, noise
 Internal Obstacles
◦ Preoccupation, prejudgment, lack of effort,
not recognizing diverse listening styles
 Non- listening
 Active Listening
◦ Making a commitment to listening using
effective listening habits in all kinds of
communication settings.
 Tools for active listening
◦ Set goals
◦ Focus effort
◦ Listen for thesis/essence
◦ Watch for non-verbal
◦ Evaluate evidence
 Cut them some slack
 Support first, critique second
 Adjust to style
 Be open minded and honest
 Focus on what is being said