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Hope
But we do not want you to be
uninformed, brethren, about those
who are asleep, so that you will not
grieve as do the rest who have no
hope.
1 Thessalonians 4:13 (NASB)
Before I begin I would like to give
testimony to the marvelous timing of
God. It was several months ago, after I
had spoken with a young woman in our
congregation who was deeply grieving
the loss of her mother that I thought my
next sermon would be for her. I have
spoken of grief several times before but
never in our congregation as the entire
subject of a talk.
My last sermon, however, came during the
crisis between Israel and Gaza. I felt to
speak on God`s love for Israel.
But I still felt in my heart that my next one
would be about grieving in hope. I could not
have imagined that only a few days before I
would share this already planned message
that I would walk through one of the greatest
losses of my life in the death of my precious
mother-in-law, my second best friend in the
universe.
As I have revisited these timeless truths
which God has shown me over a span of
many years, I have found that they are as
lifegiving today as they were the day they
were first given to me.
It is my prayer that you will find comfort as I
share with you what God has imparted to my
soul which has brought me so much comfort
throughout my life but especially in the last
two weeks.
In my personal experience
with the church universal, I
have found that there some
topics that rarely or never get
spoken on from the pulpit
even though they are central
to living our lives well.
I have never heard a full sermon
on grief except the ones I have
preached. I can say, however, I
have heard more references to
grieving here in this church than
anywhere else. A while back
Martin shared about the comfort
God had given him about his
grandmothers death.
I dont know if you have noticed but
he has shared many very
vulnerable aspects of his life with
us. So has Howard. So has Harvey.
So has Miriam. So have other
leaders in our congregation. There
is something about this we need to
understand. It is not the norm for
leaders to do this.
Unfortunately it is very rare to find
leaders who share not only their
strengths but also their vulnerability.
One of the main reasons I know I
can trust the leadership of our
church is that they do share their
struggles, weaknesses, failures and
grief openly with us.
Why does that so impress me?
Because it is the image of Jesus in
their lives.
Listen to what Isaiah said about him
hundreds of years before he
humbled himself and became a
human.
Who has believed our message? And to whom has
the arm of the LORD been revealed?
2
For He grew
up before Him like a tender shoot, And like a root
out of parched ground; He has no stately form or
majesty That we should look upon Him, Nor
appearance that we should be attracted to Him.
3
He was despised and forsaken of men, A man of
sorrows and acquainted with grief; And like one
from whom men hide their face He was despised,
and we did not esteem Him.
4
Surely our griefs He
Himself bore, And our sorrows He carried; . . . .
Isaiah 53:1-4 (NASB)
But He was pierced through for our
transgressions, He was crushed for our
iniquities; The chastening for our well-being fell
upon Him, And by His scourging we are healed.
6
All of us like sheep have gone astray, Each of
us has turned to his own way; But the LORD has
caused the iniquity of us all To fall on Him.
Isaiah 53:5-6 (NASB)
As I read this amazing prophetic picture
of Jesus, I am struck with the emphasis
on his vulnerability.
He was, A man of sorrows and
acquainted with grief
What a gift Isaiah proclaims came to us
through Jesus in saying, Surely our
griefs He Himself bore, And our sorrows
He carried
Our saviour went through
terrible grief for us. Yet we speak
so little about it. The lack of time
given the subject in the pulpit
tells us it is not a popular theme.
Why not?
I believe one reason is
that even hearing the word
grief stirs up memories
and emotions that we all
find difficult at best,
unbearable at worst.
Whether it is the loss of a
person we loved through
death or the loss of
someone we cherished
while they still live, all loss
in human relationship puts
us into a state of grief.
Grief can be experienced
through the loss of
anything, a job, a pet, a
material thing, an
opportunity. . . .
The Bible says there are two
kinds of grief. We grieve in hope
or we grieve in hopelessness.
When we grieve in hope the fruit
of our grief ultimately brings joy
out of even unbearable pain.
Hopeless grief always leaves
a mark on our soul. Though
others may not see it, grief in
a heart that does not have
hope eats away inside of us
like acid. We are never far
from its power to rob, kill and
destroy.
For those who grieve in hope, the
depth of the grief may be the same
or even greater than those who
grieve hopelessly.
It is not the depth or the pain of our
grief that determines its effect in
our lives. It is the hope through
which we experience it.
But we do not want you to be
uninformed, brethren, about those
who are asleep, so that you will not
grieve as do the rest who have no
hope.
1 Thessalonians 4:13 (NASB)
Even as I am saying these things many
of us are remembering losses that we
may still feel helpless to face, much
less to resolve.
As pastors we often find ourselves
unable to face or resolve our own grief.
How can we be expected to lead our
people into a resolution we ourselves
cannot find? So we go silent.
Today I know very well that I will be
touching areas in some of your lives
that may awaken feelings you may want
to let slumber.
I would ask you to give me an
opportunity, as one who has walked
through this valley of the shadow of
death as you have, to share some of
what God has done to help me come
out alive.
None of us will escape life
without pain. And the result of
pain will be grief. In our first
passage Paul did not say we
would not grieve. He said we
should not grieve like those who
have no hope.
Gods way
in Grief
Our failure to know, understand and follow
Gods way in the process of grief has left
many of us alone and alienated even from
God.
My people perish from a lack of knowledge.
Hosea 4: 6 (KJV)
But God does not desire us to perish in
grief. Far from it. God wants us to find His
power to not only comfort us in our grief but
to redeem it fully.
So lets begin our look a Gods way
in grief by looking at the
characteristics of hopeless grief.
One primary mental and emotional
result from unresolved grief is the
feeling of almost infinite aloneness.
Out of that feeling grows many
others.
The heart knows its own bitterness, And
a stranger does not share its joy.
Proverbs 14:10 (NASB)
The word bitterness here is a
description of three results of hopeless
grief. The Hebrew word is
marat.
The root
MAR means
bitterness, suffering, or affliction.
Hopeless grief produces all three in
our lives.
Of these three, I have
found that the clearest
expression of hopeless
grieving is bitterness.
I have seen that when we feel, helpless,
abandoned, betrayed or alone we can
let our hope be destroyed and we will
feel bitter.
Hope deferred makes the heart
sick, But desire fulfilled is a tree
of life.
Proverbs 13:12 (NASB)
King Davids grandmother three
generations removed was named
Naomi. Because of a terrible
drought Naomi had to leave Israel
her homeland to go to Moab just to
keep from starving. In Moab she
lost, in a slow progression of death,
first her husband, then one son and
finally her last son.
Anyone understanding the middle East
at that time knows that when she lost
her male relatives she also lost
everything they owned. Women did not
inherit property. All she had left were
her clothes and two daughters-in-law.
Since she could no longer support
herself in Moab she went back to Israel
with her sons wives. On the way there
even one of the daughters-in-law left
her.
Here is the story after she arrived to her home
town.
On their arrival there, the whole town was excited
about them, and the women asked: Can this be
Naomi?
20
But she said to them, Do not call me
Naomi [Sweet]. Call me Mara [Bitter], for the
Almighty has made my life very bitter.
21
I went
away full, but the LORD has brought me back
empty. Why should you call me Sweet, since the
LORD has brought me to trial, and the Almighty has
pronounced evil sentence on me.
Ruth 1:19-21 (NABRE)
Naomi wanted to be called Mara, the
same Hebrew word we discussed
earlier - Bitter.
She wanted to be called this because in
her mind she was left alone and in
financial ruin.