Jurulatih Utama Zon Borneo

JPK
19 Jun 2007

HJ MOHD UMBAIK HJ
ISMAIL
Masters in Counselling Psychology, UKM
Bac. Ed.( Guidance & Counselling, UPM
Diploma In Education Counselling, UPSI

I looked in the mirror

and liked what I saw
I looked once again and
liked it even more

Why is it Important for us

Self-Esteem is the Foundation that we build
the rest of us on
Self-Esteem is all about liking ourselves,
appreciating and all
You can learn to enhance your Self-esteem
You can maintain high Self-Esteem for life
Healthy level of Self-Esteem is one of the
greatest gifts we can give our children or
model for other people

What Is Self-Esteem?
Acceptance of ourselves, by ourselves, for who
and what we are any time in our life.
It is associated with the belief that we are
worthwhile, capable and useful no matter what
happened in our life, what is happening or
what may happen
Self-Esteem is identified by the way we act and
behave, by attitudes and beliefs we hold about
ourselves and the way we feel about ourselves
and the emotion we experience

Healthy & High SelfEsteem

We Hold ourselves in high regard
We like and accept who we are
We forgive ourselves easily
We always focus on our Strengths and we
can effectively distinguish ourselves from
our behavior or what we do
If we make mistake or mess something
up,we still acknowledge that we are okay
but we learn from experience

Self-Esteem is Also
The ability to look at what we can do and
What we have done
Build on this during our lives rather than
looking at what we havent done and what
we cannot do.. And filling ourselves up
with blame and self-doubt

How Do I know If
I Have It?
Will talk and act in a confident manner
And certainly put their point of view
forward if they feel it is required or
necessary
Can deal with failure and admit when they
are wrong
Can tell ourselves that we are hopeless
and useless The reality is we are not
hopeless or useless BUT our behavior
and actions may have been at that time

How well you bounce back from

disappointment, failure or any form setback in your life
Withdraw
Blame Others
Develop a poor me
attitude
Get quiet depressed
Cry and cry
Eat too much or
Give up

Or are you the type who certainly gets a

little emotional and then
Analyses what went
wrong and tries to fix it
Says Im okay! My
actions were wrong in the
distance
Plan a step-by-step
recovery
Keep a good balance in
your life, no matter what
the circumstances

Where does it come from

PARENTS
PEERS AND FRIENDS
ACHIEVEMENTS
ENVIRONMENT

YOURSELF

People who have Healthy levels of

Self-Esteem
Look at what they can do
and what they have done
Give themselves regular
pats on the back
Criticize their behavior, not
themselves
Ask for pats on the back
from others
Stick up for themselves

Developing A Healthy Self-Esteem

How do we BOOST UP the

Self-Esteem

However, if you do not get a few

wins on the board, what happens to
your SELF-ESTEEM?
It may go down as
your
* behavior
* thinking
* emotions
Turn negative and
destructive on you

THE ANSWER IS?

Imagination &
Recall

ASSESMENT &
VALUATION

Inflexible.. I will never get it right

Irrational.. I should not make mistakes
Negative.. I am really so hopeless
Stressful.. I cant stand
Distorted.. Its a catastrophe
Upsetting.. Im an idiot alright

FLAXIBLE.. Everyone makes mistakes

ADAPTABLE.. What can I learn from all this
RATIONAL.. Its not the end of the world
POSITIVE I did everything else pretty well
SOLUTION ORIENTATED.. Whats the best
thing for me to do now?

NOW HOW DO WE REMEMBER TO

START F A R P S
1. Place a rubber band on one of your wrists
2. If you find you are putting yourself down about
something FLICK yourself gently with rubber band
3. Then gently say the word STOP to yourself
4. Imagine a switch in your head which switches your
thinking from all the negative messages to the FARPS
5. Then say four or five positive and constructive
SELF-TALK to yourself,such as I can cope with this

Why do the thought STOPPING and the

thought SWITCHING technique
Important?
A powerful buffer against you talking yourself
into having low Self-Esteem and poor SelfImage.
Will allow you to talk to yourself into having very
healthy amounts of Self-Esteem based on
FARPS

You have booked a

table at your favorite

restaurant for a special
occasion, but you are
late getting to the
restaurant and the
table has been given to
another couple. The
restaurant is full

 Negative put downs you

could get into.
Now run through the
thought stopping /
switching technique
Four or five positive Selftalks you could use to start
FARPS

So What else

Do something nice for someone

Say something pleasant to someone
Do a particular job or chore well
Donate something to charity
Find a solution to a problem
Thank someone
Achieve a new goal
Make time to listen to someone
Accept some criticism well
Are honest and accepting about mistake
Stand up for ourselves
Take a risk and go for it
Adapt well to a change in our lives

 DEPRESSION
LACK OF
ACHIEVEMENT
THE POOR ME
TRAP
LIFE WASTAGE

 Always say I LIKE

ME
Relax & confident
Pleasant & Helpful to
others
Happy life
Achievement focused
A Balanced lifestyle

You know youre

successful when

Valuing yourself
Challenges and chances
Humor
Responsibility
Assertive
Efficiency
Sense of Belonging