Levels of Communication

in our Daily Lives

SPV

Standards and Objectives

Standard:
ARR 2.0 - ARFL 4.00
Students will identify effective communication in
interpersonal relationships.
Objectives:
Identify various types of communication styles.
Define the levels of communication

Levels of Communication

1. Make a small circle with the groups

I have organized.
2. Everyone must participate.
3. No talking with other groups.
4. Everyone must listen with their
eyes.
5. When I call time you must stop
where you are.
6. If you have not finished the
previous round, finish it and then
move on.

Round #1
Share an event
you have
experienced.
Example:

Round #2
Describe a
situation that has
proven to be a
good
INFLUENCE on
your life.
Example:

Round #3
Describe a quality
you already have
that will make you
a better parent or
spouse.
Example:

Round #4
You must give a
compliment to one
other person in
your group.
Example

Levels of Communication
Discussion

Levels of Communication
Event

Superficial
Influence

Personal
Personal Quality

Validating
Compliment

Levels of Communication SPV

Superficial
Communication making up the
majority of our communication.
Talking about the weather,
Personal
home, school, food, etc.
Communication involving
opening up and talking about
feelings, beliefs and opinions
that mean something to you.

Validating
Communication reinforcing
peoples feelings about
themselves.

Levels of
Communication
Questions
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.

Can a relationship remain stable for an extended period of

time if they communicate in a superficial state? Why?
Which levels of communication must a relationship strive
for in order to grow? Why?
Which was more difficult to share in group? Events,
Influences, Personal qualities, Compliments. Why?
What are some reactions that occurred in your group?
Explain why these occurred.
Why is it more difficult to share personal qualities and
compliments.
Why would you communicate superficially?

You can tell more about a person by what he

says about others than you can by what
others say about him.
--Leo Aikman

Video clips

Video Clips
Goonies
Say Anything
Singles

Validating

Reality Bytes
Sleepless in Seattle

Superficial

Superficial
Superficial into
Personal ( Proximity
closer)
Superficial to
Personal

1. What kind of communication makes up

majority of our conversations?
2. What kind of communication makes a
relationships stronger?
3. What is validating Communication?

Reasons for keeping Communication

Superficial:

I may be hurt.
I dont want to hurt their feelings.
They will misinterpret what I say.
They wont be receptive
It will put our relationship at risk.
I will be out on a limb and wont be
supported.
http://www.mnadr.state.mn.us/workplace/pdf/Keepcomm.pdf

What Validation Is
To validate someone's feelings is first to
accept someone's feelings. Next, it is to
understand them, and finally it is to nurture
them.

Basic Steps to Validation

Acknowledging the other person's feelings

Identifying the feelings
Offering to listen
Helping them label the feelings
Being there for them; remaining present physically
and emotionally
Feeling patient
Feeling accepting and non-judgmental

Example of Validating
I hear you.
That hurts
That's not good
Wow, that's a lot to deal with
I would feel the same way.
(I would be sad/hurt/angry/jealous, etc. too)
That is sad.
That sounds discouraging.
That sounds like it would really hurt
That must really hurt.
I know just what you mean.
I would feel the same way.
I can understand how you feel.
It sounds like you are really feeling ____.
It sounds like is really important to you.

Validating necklaces
Students talk to one another about their
admirable qualities and traits they see in
each other. They must validate their
compliments. Each time they validate
someone they get a piece of yarn tied to
their necklaces.

Painful feelings that are expressed,

acknowledged and validated by a trusted
listener will diminish.
Painful feelings that are ignored will gain
strength. (1)

 No man means all he says, and yet very

few say all they mean, for words are
slippery and thought is viscous.
Henry B. Adams

Summary:
What is SPV?
The greater the need to communicate our feelings, the harder it
is to do. Indeed, sharing our opinions and emotions is risky
business. We minimize the risk when we move through the
levels of communication incrementally. That is, each
conversation ought to begin with phatic (superficial)
communication and move through the levels (however quickly
seems appropriate) before moving to the more intimate levels.
Generally, we look for the other individual to reciprocate at the
same level of intensity. There is a social convention to match
levels. If the other initiates a conversation at the evaluative level,
we often feel compelled to respond in kind. This is dangerous.
Sharing our ideas and feelings is generally reserved for those
whom we trust. Trust is a function of confidence, commitment,
and time. We generally share our essence with those weve
known a long time.(2)