Conflict has been defined as tension arising from incompatible

goals or needs, in which the actions of one frustrate the ability

of the other to achieve their goal, resulting in stress or tension.

Conflicts in any relationship are inevitable: They serve as

warning that something in the relationship needs closer
attention.

Conflict scars lead to improved relationships.

Traditionally, conflict was viewed as a destructive
force to be eliminated. Actually, conflicts that are
successfully resolved lead to stronger relationships.
The critical factor is the willingness to explore and
resolve it mutually. Appropriately handled, conflict
can provide an important opportunity for growth.
The dysfunction occurs when emotions distort the
content issue (e.g., when some information is withheld so
that you must guess at what is truly going on in the mind
of the other person).
Sometimes the conflict is obscured by hidden messages,
denied feelings, or feelings projected onto others.

Nonproductive conflicts are characterized by feelings that are

misperceived or stated too intensely.

In other dysfunctional conflicts, the feelings are stated

accurately, but they are expressed so strongly that the
listener feels attacked. The listener then tends to respond in
a defensive manner.
1. AVOIDANCE
A common response to conflict by nurses is to
distance themselves from their client or to provide them
less support.
Sometimes an experience makes you so uncomfortable
that you want to avoid the situation or person at all
costs, so you withdraw.
This style is appropriate when the cost of addressing
the conflict is higher than the benefit of resolution.
Sometimes you just have to pick your battles,
focusing your energy on the most important issues.
However, use of avoidance postpones the conflict,
leads to future problems, and damages your
relationship with your client, making it a lose - lose
situation.
2. ACCOMMODATION

We surrender our own needs in a desire to smooth over the

conflict.
This response is cooperative but nonassertive.
Sometimes this involves a quick compromise or giving false
reassurance.
By giving into others, we maintain peace but do not actually
deal with the issue, so it will likely resurface in the future.
It is appropriate when the issue is more important to the
other person. This is a losewin situation.
Harmony results and credits may be accumulated that can be
used at some future time (McElhaney, 1996).
3. COMPETITION

A response style characterized by domination.

In this contradictory style, one party exercises power to gain
his own goals at the expense of the other person.
It is characterized by aggression and lack of compromise.
Authority may be used to suppress the conflict in a dictatorial
manner. This leads to increased stress.
It is an effective style when there is a need for a quick
decision, but it leads to problems in the long term, making it a
loselose situation.
4. COLLABORATION

A solution-oriented response in which we work together

cooperatively to problem solve.
To manage the conflict, we commit to finding a mutually
satisfying solution.
This involves directly confronting the issue, acknowledging
feelings, and using open communication to solve the
problem. Steps for productive confrontation include
identifying concerns of each party; clarifying assumptions;
communicating honestly to identify the real issue; and
working collaboratively to find a solution that satisfies
everyone.
This is considered to be the most effective style for genuine
resolution. This is a win-win situation.
1. ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOR is defined as setting goals,
acting on those goals in a clear, consistent manner, and taking
responsibility for the consequences of those actions. The
assertive nurse is able to stand up for the rights of others, as
well as for her own rights.
The goal of assertiveness is to communicate directly, standing up
for your personal rights while respecting the rights of others
(Smart, 2009).
Conflict creates anxiety that may prevent us from behaving
assertively. Assertive behaviors range from making a direct,
honest statement about your beliefs to taking a very strong,
confrontational stand about what will and will not be tolerated
in the relationship. Assertive responses contain I statements
that take responsibility.
2. AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR has a goal of
dominating while suppressing the other persons rights.
Aggressive responses often consist of you statements
that fix blame on the other person.
3. PASSIVE BEHAVIOR is defined as a
response that denies our own rights to avoid
conflict. An example is remaining silent and not
responding to a clients demands for narcotics
every 4 hours when he displays no signs of pain out
of fear that he might report you to your superior.
Express your own position using I statements
Make clear statements.
Speak in a firm tone, using moderate pitch.
Assume responsibility for personal feelings and wants.
Make sure verbal and nonverbal messages are
congruent.
Address only issues related to the present conflict
Structure responses so as to be tactful and show
awareness of the client s frame of reference
Understand that undesired behaviors not feelings
attitudes and motivations are the focus for change
 COMPONENTS OF ASSERTION
INCLUDE THE FOLLOWING FOUR ABILITIES:
say no;
ask for what you want;
appropriately express both positive and negative thoughts
and feelings;
initiate, continue, and terminate the interaction.
1. Demonstrate Respect
2. Use I Statements

Statements that begin with You sound accusatory and

always represent an assumption because it is impossible to
know exactly, without validation, why someone acts in a
certain way. Because such statements usually point a finger
and imply a judgment, most people respond defensively to
them.

We statements should be used only when you actually

mean to look at an issue collaboratively. Thus, the statement
Perhaps we both need to look at this issue a little closer may
be appropriate in certain situations.
 Use of I statements are one of the most effective
conflict management strategies you can use. Assertive
statements that begin with I suggest that the person
making the statement accepts full personal responsibility
for his or her own feelings and position in relation to the
presence of conflict.

The traditional format is this:

Example:
I feel uncomfortable when a clients personal problems are
discussed in the cafeteria because someone might overhear
confidential information.
3. Make Clear Statements
Statements, rather than questions, set the stage for
assertive responses to conflict. When questions are used,
how questions are best because they are neutral in
nature, they seek more information, and they imply a
collaborative effort. Why questions ask for an explanation
or an evaluation of behavior and often put the other person
on the defensive. It is always important to state the
situation clearly; describe events or expectations
objectively; and use a strong, firm, yet tactful manner.
4. Use Proper Pitch and Tone
You can sometimes lose your effectiveness by becoming
long-winded in your explanation when only a simple
statement of rights or intent is needed. Long explanations
detract from the true impact of the spoken message. Getting
to the main point quickly and saying what is necessary in the
simplest, most concrete way cuts down on the possibility of
misinterpretation.
4. Use Proper Pitch and Tone

Pitch and tone of voice contribute to another persons

interpretation of the meaning of your assertive message. A
soft, hesitant, passive presentation can undermine an
assertive message as much as vocalizing the message in a
harsh, hostile, and aggressive tone. A firm but moderate
presentation often is as effective as content in conveying the
message.
5. Analyze Personal Feelings
6. Focus on the Present
7. Structure Your Response
In mastering assertive responses, it may be helpful initially to
use these steps in an assertive response.

A. Express empathy: I understand that _______ I hear

you saying

Example:
I understand that things are difficult at home.
B. Describe your feelings or the situation: I feel that
_______; This situation seems to me to

Example:
But your 8-year-old daughter has expressed a lot of anxiety,
saying, I cant learn to give my own insulin shots.
C. State expectations: I want ___________; What is
required by the situation is ________

Example:
It is necessary for you to be here tomorrow when the diabetic
teaching nurse comes so you can learn how to give injections
and your daughter can, too, with your support.
D. List consequences: If you do this, then ____________ will
happen (state positive outcome); If you dont do this, then
___________ will happen (state negative outcome).

Example:
If you get here on time, we can be finished and get her
discharged in time for her birthday on Friday.