Self Awareness

Katheryne Ayers
What Does It Mean to Be Self Aware?

▪ “If we aren’t physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually healthy,

we cannot reasonably expect to be able to help our students become
healthier and more successful in school.”
▪ Often teachers don’t put themselves first because they are
concerned with the needs of their students. Unfortunately, this
viewpoint can hamper our ability to help our students.
▪ “Self-love, my liege, is not so vile a sin as self-neglecting.”
– It is always better to overestimate your own worth than sell it short and neglect
your own interests as a result.
Cement Shoes

Imagine that you’re walking on a beach

toward the ocean. When you are up to
your ankles in the water and a wave hits,
what happens? What about when you are
up to your knees, waist or chest? The
farther you go out, the more likely you are
to be toppled by the waves that crash
upon you.
Cement Shoes

Now, imagine that you have on a pair of

cement shoes. If you were firmly grounded
where you stood, you would be less likely
to be toppled by the waves that hit you, no
matter how big.
Mission Statement

▪ Giving yourself a personal mission statement is key for clarifying your

core values and understanding your purpose as an educator.
– Consider how you wish to be seen and interpreted by your students.
– Why did you choose this profession?
– Why do you continue to go to work every day?
– What is your inspiration behind teaching?
– What do you believe about students?
– What are three core values that are important to you?

▪ Use your mission statement to help you rededicate yourself to your

work, to reaffirm your inner self, to define your trigger points, and to
give yourself something tangible to hold on to when you are
feeling most compromised and vulnerable.
The Sea of Forgetfulness

▪ “To give my students the best shot at learning, I’ll make sure each
and every day is a brand new, blank slate day.”
– Don’t seek to dredge up old memories or past behaviors
– Provide students with a fresh start
– Never allow anything, even their own behaviors, get in the way of their learning
Facing the Reality

▪ We have to understand that we often do not, and cannot know what

traumatic events students experience
▪ We cannot stop this trauma from happening to them and we cannot
“fix” their problems
– Approach the solution by recognizing that by staying true to yourself and
modeling the intentionality, humility, strength, honesty and grace, we can
provide a chance for our students to begin to do the same for themselves.
Facing the Tornado

▪ Children who act disruptive are often not doing it to intentionally

hurt others—they do it because it’s the best thing they have in their
toolbox to help them cope with the stressors of life.
▪ Our goal as teachers is to help students understand their bodies’
biological responses are when they are experiencing these stressors
and give them positive tools and strategies to help them cope.
▪ Rather than looking at behavior at face value, we must go beyond
the surface level to look at what is motivating the behaviors.
Reactions to the Tornado

▪ Our first response to unwanted and disruptive behaviors is often to

remove the instigator from the classroom to “get rid of” the
distraction.
▪ However, confrontation can cause additional disruption, and it often
removes the safety and security students should feel, leaving even
focused and attentive students in a heightened state of alert.
▪ Instead, we should focus on helping the student redirect, to reinforce
to them that help is always available if they need it and that the
classroom is a safe place for them.
Redirecting Your Focus

▪ How can we avoid getting sucked into the tornado?

– Know your triggers and learn to manage them in healthy ways.
– Ask yourself: “What is happening in front of me? What is the student really
asking for? What might be motivating him or her to make these choices?”
– Acknowledge your own emotions and responses: “How am I feeling about this
student and this behavior? How can I respond in a way that supports this student
instead of reacting emotionally? What do I need at this time to stay focused on
the needs of the student?”
– Anticipate and plan beforehand so you can avoid the tornado altogether! If it’s
predictable, it’s preventable.
Preventative Care

▪ Prepare students for class by maintaining a regular routine with

consistent structure.
▪ Make a habit of supporting the learning needs of struggling
students—check in with them and provide timely feedback so they
know they can expect help if they need it.
▪ Provide training and support in peer tutoring and cooperative
learning so that students see one another as a support network.
▪ Involve your tornado makers in the operation of the classroom so
that they feel a sense of belonging, like they are part of the process
that keeps the day running smoothly.
Building Relationships

▪ It is vital to build positive relationships with your students in order to

help address their immediate needs.
– Connect with students often—learn their personalities, habits, strengths, and
fears
– The more you connect with your students, the more effectively you can create a
trauma-sensitive learning environment that allows you to formulate healthy
responses and intervention techniques.

▪ Avoid power struggles by committing students to class expectations

and allowing them to make their own choices.
– Allowing students to have a choice lets them take ownership what they are
doing and avoids the feeling that something is being forced upon them.
▪ Instead of waiting for the tornado to hit to
react, be proactive! Implement healthy
strategies beforehand so that you can divert
any reactionary responses and equip students
with the tools they need to avoid creating the
tornado.
Identifying Our Baselines and Triggers

▪ Start by determining your baseline energy level, the way you

typically feel and present yourself—your temperament, attitude and
life experiences.
– Are you a high-energy person or a low-energy person? Do you identify more
with Tigger or Eeyore from Winnie-the-Pooh?

▪ Once you’ve identified your baseline energy level, then you can move
on to discovering what disrupts you from it.
– Some common negative triggers include exhaustion, prior negative experiences,
challenges to our belief system, preconceived notions and fear.
Stop, Take a Deep Breath and Relax

▪ You’re safe. Breathe with me. You can handle this.

▪ Our ability to self-regulate is crucial to our jobs and our interactions

with students and families. It enables us to connect with and
response to the needs of our students.
Learning to Breathe Deeply

▪ Teaching students and teaching ourselves to breathe deeply is key to

helping us all access our upstairs brain.
▪ Help students pay attention to the difference in their breathing when
they are regulated (in their upstairs brain) and dysregulated (in their
downstairs brain).
▪ Breathing techniques you can practice with your students include
body awareness exercises, yoga, guided imagery, storytelling, music
exercises, brain breaks and more.
Using the Pause Button

▪ Giving both ourselves and our students the opportunity to have a

pause button allows us to regulate and calm ourselves.
▪ Pausing and reflecting before reacting provides us with a moment of
deliberate thought, an instant of calming, can make all the difference
between catastrophic emotional reaction and an intentional, rational
response.
▪ “When in doubt, shut your mouth and take a breath.”
You Must Remember This

▪ Everything we say to and do with our students and families must be

done solely for their benefit, not our own. It’s never about us. I repeat:

It’s not about you.

Staying Focused on What Matters

▪ Our goal is to develop competent, capable adults who can contribute

to society—but that mission often gets lost in the shuffle of our own
impatience, our own fear, our protective nature, our insistence that
students do things our way.
▪ This mindset ultimately takes away students’ power to do, learn and
grow for themselves.
▪ Have faith in your students’ ability to swim on their own—if you
don’t, you risk both of you being pulled down and drowning.
Empower your students instead with healthy ways to learn to
maneuver through the trouble waters themselves.
Six Steps to Effective Communication

▪ 1. Listen to the message being given.

▪ 2. Reassure the person that their perspective is important.
▪ 3. Validate their emotional state and acknowledge their experiences.
▪ 4. Respond to their concerns without getting defensive—explain the
behavior and response rather than trying to justify your actions.
▪ 5. Repair by recognizing the other person’s experience and apologize
for how the situation turned out—this goes a long way to help build
trust between you and the other person.
▪ 6. Resolve by coming to terms with what has happened and
collaborate to find alternative ways to prevent future disruptions.