Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Dont be afraid of opposition. Remember, a kite rises against, Not with, the wind.
~Hamilton Mabie
Audience/participants
Acknowledge the conflict
Gather Information
Active listening to others view Restate Paraphrase Summarize Identify issues clearly and concisely
Use I statements Remain Flexible
Clarify feelings
Agree
Find a common perception of the problem
Understand the others point of view Why they feel the way they do Needs, goals, interests can affect perception
Brainstorm solutions
As a group
Generate fair input Be open to all ideas Consider things you hadnt thought of before Wait to discuss ideas until brainstorming is done to
encourage participation
Negotiate a Solution
Mutual solution may already be clear
If solution has not surfaced, seek resolution with a
win-win negotiation situation = what can we do so all parties walk away happy?
Positive Conflict
Helps people understand what others feel is
important to them Clarifies and defines issues and values Aids a team in knowing what is really important and builds a sense of mutual respect Confrontation can lead to better ideas Can be the start of defining adjusted or new roles and goals which are more satisfactory to everyone
Negative Conflict
Interrupts normal relations between individuals
and teams Provokes hurt Causes loss of self-respect, or respect for others Takes time and energy of everyone involved Causes confusion, insecurity, hostility, distrust, alienation Causes stress
Compromising
What Happens: Negotiation with give and take of each party Solution is somewhere in the middle Appropriate to Use When: Individuals are committed to the process Willing to give enough to make solution work Confidence that a solution can be reached Inappropriate to Use When: Individuals not willing to give in a little Original positions are too far from the middle Parties dont believe in negotiating
Nothing is said; no effort to talk Unsure of what to do Fearful of what might happen No commitment to improve the relationship
Issue is not very important Emotions too strong or timing not right Need to gather more information
Issue is really important Not resolving will escalate and make it worse, or more difficult to resolve later on
Reach consensus Usually a creative solution that makes everyone happy Emphasis is on finding solution to the problem by talking at length until one is found that each person can accept
Everyone committed to process Know and follow guidelines and time to devote Healthy desire to work together Inappropriate to Use When: No commitment or training in the process Not enough time to see process through Highly competitive people would have a difficult time to use this method
Feedback Model
CARE Feedback Clearly describe behavior Address reactions to behavior Realistic expectations shared Expected result identified
Sonam, Im very grateful for the extra time you put in last week to finish coding the statements for our project. Address reactions to the behavior You not only saved everyone time and prevented confusion, your methodical approach is also easy for everyone to grasp Realistic expectations shared I know I can count on you in the future. Expected results Ill keep my eyes open for other opportunities for you to shine!
Ashish, Id like to share a way you can handle an angry customer by paraphrasing what he said right at the beginning of the call. Address reactions to the behavior This will let your customer know youve heard his concern and care about him Realistic expectations shared You could say something like, Mr. Jones, I can appreciate how upset you are about xxx not arriving on time. Expected results Ill e-mail you several words to use when paraphrasing. Try them during your calls today, and Ill check back with you tomorrow to see how its going.
I just observed your last call and Id like to give you the correct process to follow for shipping xyz product. Address reactions to the behavior Youve put the customer address in the wrong screen, so shipping will not have the correct information, and the customer will be upset when they dont receive xyz. Realistic expectations shared Let me show you now the process and well correct the information from your last call, and show you in the knowledge base where to check the process the next time. Expected results Please print out the process from the knowledge base, and go through your other records to be sure youve put in the information correctly. Gretchen on your team can help you immediately if you run into any problems.
The point being made here is. Focus on Interest, Not Position So what you really would like to see happen is Create Options for Mutual Gain What if you did x and I did y,. That would work for me. Would it work for you, too? Agree When There is a Win So, then, we are all comfortable with the solution, right?
Self-Mediation Technique
Find a Time to Talk Plan the Context Talk it Out Make a Deal
to talk about our earlier meet to discuss our conversation about the work opinions? I did for the team? Im Identify specifically uncomfortable with not understanding what you what you want to found unacceptable. Are talk about you willing to meet to talk Respectfully about this so we can reach request time an agreement for future work?
of appreciation and optimism Agree on cardinal rules No interruptions Agree on stop time No power or force for one sided solution State issue
I appreciate your willingness to meet with me to talk this out. Im hopeful well have a solution that will benefit both of us. Please tell me how you see the work I did wasnt complete.
Talk It Out
Restate to clarify what you
heard from the other person Ask Questions to Clarify Non-judgmental tone Check in for accuracy?
What I hear you say is that youre concerned I didnt include opinions of our part time staff in the survey. Is that correct?
Make a Deal
Possible Alternatives
Okay, so Ill repeat the What you will do survey for the part time staff. You will get me a list of their names, including third shift, by tomorrow. Ill share the results at our next results meeting on the 25th.
What I will do
Messages: I feel I am upset by I do not like it when Express What You Want I want you to I wish you would Express Appreciation of I appreciate your position I imagine you feel
Respond I understand. I heard you say Express what will do.. I can I will
I plan to.