BEHAVIORAL COMMUNICATION & RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT ( MIB 243 )

By: Prof. V.P.KAKKAR

SESSION- 1

INTRODUCTION, COURSE REVIEW & SHARING OF SESSION PLAN

Dr. Ashok K Chauhan, Founder President, RBEF & CEO Amity Group, strongly believes that Human Behaviour determines the success & excellence of an individual. In his words My target is to equip each and every student of the Amity Institutions with the best education and infrastructure to help them achieve nothing but the best in life. Not only do we inculcate in them the best of creative and technical qualifications we, also teach them Indispensable Human Qualities.

We nurture Talent

AUM

BS Continuous EVALUATION METHODOLOGY

BS Evaluation Break Up
Components Internal Assessment Components
SAP

External Assessment Components

Journal for Success BS Viva Voce Attendance

Mid Term Test

Weightage

20

20

25

30

SAP ASSIGNMENT
GIRL CHILD AND EMPOWERING WOMEN

SESSION 2
NEED, SCOPE & RELEVANCE OF BEHAVIORAL COMMUNICATION PERSONAL, IMPERSONAL & INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION

HUMAN BEHAVIOR
Functioning of an organization depends upon how people work or behave in an organization. Why do people behave the way they behave ? What influences peoples behavior at work.? BEHAVIOR = Personality x Environment / situation Behavior is what a person actually does OVERT BEHAVIOR : Observable & measurable activity ( Decision making, physical activity ) COVERT BEHAVIOR : Non- observable & non measurable ( Feelings, Attitudes, Perceptions) Human behavior can be understood easily if causes behind behavior are analyzed and can be controlled by manipulating these causes. One persons behavior is affected by others behavior and also affects others behavior. Human beings are not self contained entities or autonomous bodies but are affected by large systems- group, family, society Human behavior should be taken in terms of cause & effect relationship. It is not perfectly predictable as it is affected by large no. of variables. PROCESS ( S-O-B-C MODEL ) SITUATION ORGANISM BEHAVIORAL PATTERN CONSEQUUENCES

BEHAVIORAL COMMUNICATION
Once a human being has arrived on this earth, behavioral communication is the largest single factor determining what kind of relationship he or she makes with others. How we manage survival, how we develop intimacy, how productive we are and what success we achieve all depend largely on our communication skills

BEHAVIORAL COMMUNICATION
Understanding the forces that bring people together and keep them together and those that divide and separate them. Our communication behavior is the very life blood of our relationship. How communication behavior affects our relationship ? Environment where the relationship develops can affect the way we communicate. All our communication takes place within the context of some type of relationships.. Relationship expectations change as a result of communication behavior and communication behavior changes as a result of relationship expectations There are many different types of relationships, but all of them seem to have some characteristics in common.

BEHAVIORAL COMMUNICATION
People are drawn to each other for many reasons Impulse to receive information / knowledge Impulse to express experiences Impulse to learn more about oneself Impulse to enhance enjoyment of certain activities Impulse to reduce uncertainties What we see in others and how we perceive them may be influenced by a host of factors Our own cultural , educational and personal background Our own needs, desires and emotional states The way we choose to overtly describe covert feelings and impressions Method of self presentation used by others Conditions most likely to provide basis for attraction Proximity Physical attractiveness Similarities of attitudes and beliefs Personal rewards derived from the other persons

PROCESS BEHAVIORAL COMMUNICATION

INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION: When people involved chose to talk and listen in ways that maximizes the use of personal.

IMPERSONAL

PERSONAL

IMPERSONAL COMMUNICATION: We use to describe typical communication In social roles. There is human association but little or no close human contact The main difference between IMPERSONAL AND INTERPERSONAL communication is that the former suggests a lack of personal contact and the latter emphasizes the persons involved rather than just performing their roles

TWO ways OF Communicating: 1. I - It: when one person speaks or listens in the way that implies that the other is more like an object or a generic thing than a unique human being. 2. I thou: When people involved recognize and actively acknowledge the unique personal characteristics and contributions of the other :

QUALITIES OF BEHAVIORAL COMMUNICATION

IMPERSONAL Generic
(Treating others as interchangeable objects)

PERSONAL Unique
( Each person a genetic one of a kind )

Quantifiable (Objects can be measured in space-and-time) Unquestioning

Not measurable
( Feelings, emotions )

Reflective ( Not only that we are aware of whats around us

but also we are aware of ourselves. Questioning ourselves and others )

Reactive ( Controlled by outside forces ) Talked to/at

Responsive ( We can chose what to think,. feel and do.

People unlike objects can chose to respond rather than simply react.)

Addressable ( Ability not only to talk to but

also to talk with and to be talked with )

( It is very imp. to learn about impersonal and interpersonal comm.. Unresolved conflicts and poor relationships affect your blood pressure, susceptibility to cancer, heart disease and general physiological health )

ACTIVITY - 1
SOCIAL AWARENESS PROGRAMME - An assignment GIRL CHILD & EMPOWERING WOMEN

MODULE II
( SESSION 3 )

MANAGING INDIVIDUAL DIFFERENCES

INDIVIDUAL DIFFERENCES
Individual Behavior caused by

INDIVIDUAL DIFFERENCES 1. PHYSIOLOGICAL VARIABLES * Age * Sex * Physical features

1. SITUATIONAL VARIABLES * organization structures * organizational processes * organizational cultures

2. JOB VARIABLES * Nature of job 2. SOCIO-PHYSIOLOGICAL VARIABLES * Work environment * Personality * Perception * Learning * Attitudes & values * Emotional Intelligence * Motivation

INDIVIDUAL VARIABLES
PHYSIOLOGIAL VARIABLES: Heredity, sensory organs, physical features,

age,

sex etc
SOCIO-PHYSIOLOGICAL VARIABLES: Personality, perception, learning, attitudes,

values, experience, background , emotional stability, motivation etc SITUATIONAL VARIABLES: Organization structure, processes and culture Understanding of individual differences not only solves the problem of assignment of activities but also helps in taking best out of them by motivating and leading them accordingly It is essential to have a diagnostic process that reveals individual differences Individual differences also provide a clue for designing organization structure Adopt suitable motivation &leadership skills and develop control mechanisms to serve the needs of different individuals adequately

MODELS OF MAN

1

Individual differences cause difference in behavior Schien has identified FOUR models of man
RATIONAL ECONOMIC MAN: based on doctrine of maximizing economic returns by man by calculating cost of his efforts & returns and choosing best alternative after evaluating probable alternatives SOCIAL MAN: Man being part of society is influenced by social forces and seeks satisfaction of those needs which are in tune wih maintaining his social responsibility. Values social responsibility higher than his economic motives

ORGANIZATION MAN: An extension of social man believes that value of loyalty to the organization and cooperation with fellow workers is important for man. The concept is based on the idea of sacrificing individuality for the sake of group and the organization. SELF ACTUALISING MAN: Concept is further extension of social man models Self actualizing man assumes that mans inherent need is to use his capabilities and skills in such a way that he should feel to develop a sense of creating certain things. Man moves from immaturity to maturity in self actualizing himself. He becomes self motivated and self controlled .

ACTIVITY - 2
SUBVERT THE PARADIGM - A video film on individual differences

SESSION - 4
COMMUNICATION SKILLS, PROCESS & EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION

COMMUNICATION
Derived from Latin word COMMUNIS which means common. OXFORD :Imparting, conveying or exchange of ideas, knowledge either by speech, writing or signs. TO A LAYMAN: Conveying of some message by one person to another or sharing apiece of information, knowledge between two or more persons. PROCESS: It is a process of transmitting and receiving verbal & non-verbal messages that produce a response. OR It is a two way process of exchanging ideas or information between human beings. EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION: Only when it achieves the desired reaction or response from the recipient

TYPES OF COMMUNICATION
VERBAL:
ORAL / SPOKEN: Face to face, Telephone, Radio, Loud speaker, PA System, Lecture, Social gatherings, conferences, meetings, interviews, concellind etc.. WRITTEN: Letters, circulars, memos. Reports, telegrams, telex ,fax, notice, advertisement, questionnaires, Rules/ Regulations/Policies, Standing orders, Minutes of meeting etc. .

NON VERBAL:
VISUAL: Facial expression, Body language, charts, posters, silence etc.. AUDIO VISUAL: Television, films

COMPUTER BASED ( visual/Audio visual )

E- mail. Internet, E- commerce, E- chat, Video conferencing etc

CHANNELS OF COMMUNICATIOS
INTERNAL:
FORMALCOMMUNICATION:
DOWNWARD COMMUNICATION : (For influencing attitudes and behaviors of employees)

Clear job directions, Orders/instructions, Facts about organization, goals, objectives, products, plans, policies. Welfare ( Health care, insurance, promotions, pension, training, work environment etc ..
UPWARD COMMUNICATION: (Helps in recognizing employees needs attitudes and also helps

management to locate problem areas in an organization.) Feedback, comments from employees, progress reports, complaints, problems, suggestions, opinions, protests, demands etc..

grievances,

HORIZONTAL COMMUNICATION: (To solve problems, perform jobs, prepare for a meeting and

cooperate on important projects) Between peers

INFORMAL COMMUNICATION: Grapewine

CHANNELS OF COMMUNICATIOS
EXTERNAL: ( With suppliers , customers and other stakeholders who influence business ) Writing letter/ proposal/report, telephone call or personal conversation can: Motivate performance Create goodwill Win back a disgruntled customer Help negotiate a profitable deal Encourage collections

It has a far reaching effect on reputation ultimate success of an organization.

COMMUNICATION PROCESS SENDER RECEIVER

MESSAGE ENCODING TRANSMISSION RECEIVING DECODING FEEDBACK verbal/Non verbal channel/medium verbal/non verbal

NATURE OF EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION

Nerve centre, Life blood of any organization Involves >1 person, Mutuality ( Develops mutual understanding ) Not merely sending or receiving message but understanding also. Continuous process, indispensible part, a pervasive function. Motivational base. Meaning: Language doesnt give meaning, meanings are in the minds of people. ( ex: Mr. Roy is a strong person . This book is very cheap ) Two way traffic : Response & feedback ( Necessary for effective communication) Communication is a bridge of meaning between people, which is used to cross the river of misunderstanding that separates all people Communication is the binding force that properly coordinates and integrates all human effort

BASIC PRINCIPLES OF EFF. COMMUNICATION

PRINCIPLE OF CLARITY Every point to be very clear, No ambiguity, convey some sense & spirit PRINCIPLE OF ATTENTION Must draw attention of communicates PRINCIPLE OF COSISTANCY Consistent with plans. Policies, objectives, procedures and programmes PRINCIPLE OF ADEQUACY Message must be complete and adequate to convey the meaning PRINCIPLE OF INTEGRATION Integration of individual objectives with organizational goals PRINCIPLE OF TIMELINESS To be made at proper time PRINCIPLE OF INFORMALITY Supporting informal comm. Along with formal com. PRINCIPLE OF FEEDBACK Confirmation of message from the other side.

ACTIVITY - 3

UNDERSTANDING COMMUNICATION - creative exercises

Q1
Upward communication in most companies is less adequate than the downward communication. Why? Generally because subordinates are reluctant to communicate with superiors or feel the need to slant what they report to them. Which statements describe conditions that might hinder upward communication
Subordinate believes that the message may result in negative punitive action from his superior. The subordinate has been made to feel that any information he obtains is likely to be of importance to organization The superior manifests little or no desire for messages from subordinates The subordinates are generally told what actions and results follow from information they supply The subordinate distrust his superior

1. 2. 3 4. 5.

ANSWER

Correct answer : 1.3 & 5

Q.2
The process of making sense out of occurrences and imputing meaning to experiences is known as: Communicating Decoding Listening Perception

1. 2. 3. 4.

ANSWER

Q.3
Name one great advantage and disadvantage of a grapevine

ANSWER

Speed is advantage and inaccuracy is disadvantage

Q.4
Why is ability to communicate important to your success as a personal administrator or manager

ANSWER
If you can communicate effectively, you can motivate, train,arbitrate or interview or in short you can function as an effective manager. Effective communication is fundamental perquisite of effectiveness

Q.5
Consider this situation, You and a friend are standing in kitchen. Suddenly you see flames shoot out from behind the stove. You shout fire, point to the stove and both of you and your friend rush out of the room to phone the fire department.

Taking this simple situation as an example, break it down to the steps of a communication system ( i.e. source, encoding, medium, reception, decoding, action)

ANSWER
SOURCE : You see the fire ENCODING : You communicate seeing the fire with the word Fire and gestures MEDIUM : The room RECEPTION : Your friend hears and sees you DECODING : He realizes what you are shouting about ACTION : Both you and your friend rush out of he room to phone the fire department

Q.6
If words can hamper ( as well as help ) communication, what can be used in their place Whats wrong with the statement: Department has quite a few middle aged people

ANSWER
The answer is numbers. Quantifying the statements (i.e. using numbers) would prevent misinterpretation and misunderstanding.

Q.7
Which one of the following is a communication situation:
A. An Englishman speaking in English to an illiterate Indian B. Two young boys talking to each other in a code language, which they have evolved themselves. C. A man muttering to himself. D. A young lover talking to the moon

ANSWER
B

SESSION - 5

EFFECTIVE SPEAKING

EFFECTIVE SPEAKING
What we say ? ( 7% ) How we say ? ( 43 % ) Body language ? ( 56% ) - our body language - customers body language

WHAT WE SAY: content of communication

Reflect back the words they use, language they use. At subconscious level they feel more comfortable 3 kinds of people: A) VISUAL: use all the words associated with seeing. Ex: It appears to me. It looks to me like that. I get the picture. Visual people are concerned with style. Shape & color. B) AUDITORY: Hearing people- concerned with sounds of all types I hear what you say. I hear you loud and clear. I heard you were coming I here the job is going on well. I look forward to hearing from you C) KINESTHETIC: Feeling people. That feels right. Lets go hand in hand. It just slipped my mind. I look forward to getting in touch with you again.

HOW WE SAY:
P: Pitch ( High or Low ) I : Inflection ( Use feelings to express ) C: Courtesy ( Responding nicely- smile, respect ) T : Tone ( of sincerity, confidence, interest, pleasantness ) U : Understandability ( Dont talk with any thing in mouth,
Avoid use of jargon, slang or abbreviation )

R : Rate: speed at which you speak E : Enunciation: ( Ds & Ts- Nod, Not,
F & S - Flip, Slip P & B ) - Slab, Slap

BODY LANGUAGE
Watch what people are doing with their bodies Watch any unusual body language signal of customer and see that negativity is broken into +ve signal By watching customers eyes: We can assess their degree of interest in what we are saying

EFFECTIVE SPEAKING
AUDIENCE SENSITIVITY:
Age group Social, educational, cultural background Attitude: Receptive, hostile, skeptical, indifferent Are they comfortable ? Their hopes, ideals, ambitions Maintain eye contact with entire group The spoken word needs enlivening. So variety of aids available. No amount of visual aid will act as substitute for a well prepared and well delivered talk Do not forget original Audio Visual aid ie yourself. No amount of hardware will help if you dont look good and speak clearly and effectively

USING AIDS:

PHONE TIPS:
Speak clearly, Dont hide behind the anonymity of telephone. Never answer by saying Hello. Be +ve, Make sure people know who you are. If you initiate call, note likely quarries before hand. Caller is responsible for terminating the call. Never let caller overhear etc

EFFECTIVE SPEAKING
FORMAT:
1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Preparation State your preposition Face the snags ( weigh what is against you ) Give your best reason Show your evidence

VOICE:

!.
2 3 4. 5 6 7

Relaxation Breath control Resonance Diction Pronunciation Variety of Pitch, Pace & Pause Emphasis on key words

SKILLS NEEDED FOR PUBLIC SPEAKING

ATTENTION SKILLS: shutting off negative thoughts/stimuli from CONCENTRATION SKILLS: Command of thinking, memory & imagination faculties COORDINATION SKILLS: ability to move easily, using expressive gestures SELF CONTROL: Control over excessive swaying, shifting from one foot to another and
trembling.

EMOTIONAL CONTROL: Control and reduction of anxiety, panic and fear FLUID RESPONSE: Clear and comfortable response to questions, interruptions, distractions, and unplanned happenings WARMTH: Being relaxed in communicating and qualities of humor, concern and sincerity CHARISMA: Being able to project an image of assurance & credibility ABILITY TO THINK CREATIVELY: Out of the box thinking BODY AWARENESS: Being totally aware of ones own physical presence and in the process, centre of attention of audience. RESISTANCE SKILLS: Resisting the impulse to rush ahead instead, pacing oneself with control and awareness VOCAL SKILLS: keeping vocal chords relaxed, use of mike, voice projecting with no distortion IMAGINATION SKILLS: Ability to imagine and visualize sequence and relevant details

Inflection changes and meaning

Inflected Sentences
I did not say Bill stole your car I did not say Bill stole your car I did not say Bill stole your car I did not say Bill stole your car I did not say Bill stole your car I did not say Bill stole your car I did not say Bill stole your car

Inflection changes and meaning

Inflected Sentences
I did not say Bill stole your car I did not say Bill stole your car I did not say Bill stole your car I did not say Bill stole your car I did not say Bill stole your car I did not say Bill stole your car I did not say Bill stole your car

Meaning
Someone else said Bill stole your car I deny I said Bill stole your car I implied that Bill stole your car Someone else stole your car He borrowed your car Bill stole someone elses car Bill stole something else of yours

SESSION - 6

EFFECTIVE WRITING & READING

EFFECTIVE WRITING
4 COMPONENTS:
A WRITER A SUBTECT A PURPOSE A READER

3 PHASES:
BEFORE STARTING CONSIDER Yourself, your material, your sources, your purpose, your reader DURING WRITING BE CONSISTANT ABOUT Form, layout, Sequence, Style and language AFTER IT IS WRITTEN ORGANISE Typing/computerizing, duplicating, Checking and distribution A-B-C OF AN EFFECTIVE WRITING IS ACCURACY - BREVITY - CLARITY EFFECTIVE WRITING CHECKLIST: DOES THIS DOCUMENT PRESENT GOOD IMAGE OF COMPANY DOES ITS PURPOSE COME OVER CLEARLY IS IT EASY TO READ IS CHOISE OF WORDS AND FRAZES SIMPLE IS IT IN LOGICAL SEQUENCE IS THE TONE COURTEOUS IS THEIR SUFFICIENT INFORMATION DOES IT HAVE CORRECT GRAMMER, SPELLING AND OUNCTUATION IS APPEARANCE GOOD

7 CS OF BUSINESS COMMUNICATION
1. COMPLETENESS: - Answer all questions/information asked - Give something extra when desired - Check for 5 Ws ( Who, what, where, when, why ) & 1 H( How )
CONCISENESS - Shorten or omit wordy expressions
- Include only relevant statements - Avoid unnecessary repetitions

2.

3.

CONSIDERATION
- Focus 0n you instead of I or We - show reader benefit or interest in reader - emphasize the +ve pleasant facts - apply integrity & ethics

4.

CONCRETENESS - use specific facts and figures - Put action in your verbs - Choose vivid image building words CLARITY - Always choose short, familiar conversational words - Construct effective sentences & paragraphs - Achieve appropriate readability, listening ability COURTESY - Be sincere, tactful, thoughtful & appreciative - Omit expressions that imitate or hurt CORRECTNESS - use right level of language - Use only accurate facts, words and figures - Maintain acceptable writing mechanics - Choose non-discriminatory expressions

5.

EFFECTIVE READING
INEFFICIENT READERS Have low perception speed due to incorrect eye habits 175-250 WPM or less. Are over-conscious, read every word in a selection, all material at an unvarying rate EFFICIENT READERS High perception speed 400-500 WPM at least Very rate according to difficulty as well as purpose

Make many regressions for checking on Make few regressions. Perception is accurate and fast figures, minor points, statistics, bits of Concentrate on meaning description Regressions cut their train of thought, make them over conscious of words, ruin their concentration, break the smoothness and radically reduce their speed Read words Move eyes 8-10 times or more to cover the average line of print Vocalize or sub-vocalize Read for ideas, rarely conscious of individual words Cover an average line of print in 3 to 4 eye movements. Read silently. Lips, tongue, vocal chords are motionless. More aware of meaning than sound

EFFECTIVE READING
INEFFICIENT READING More concerned with details than salient concepts and broad overall ideas Read passively without understanding the material as a whole or relationship of the acts. EFFICIENT READING Push briskly to grasp main ideas, the author's basic thinking. Read with aggressive comprehension, think along the author and search for the central meaning.

Fatigue easily as reading is a slow unrewarding, tedious process

Have a poor vocabulary Often approach every little bit of reading as a new and unrelated experience

Read for hours without becoming tired.

Have large vocabulary Do vast reading. Constantly compare present reading to previous reading experiences Strong intellectual curiosity which is satisfied to some extent by the reading they do.

Suffer from gradual weakening of intellectual curiosity as reading is never a comfortable or rapid process to make satisfaction of curiosity worth the effort

SESSION -7
EFFECTIVE LISTENING NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION

FACE TO FACE INFORMATION GATHERING: LISTENING AND NONVARBAL COMMUNICATION

Listening Level of Attentiveness

Non listener Passive listener Semi-active listener Active listener

Hearing Versus Listening

Hearing is not the same as listening Hearing is a physical process; listening is a mental one A person can hear something without listening to it; listening involves comprehending and retaining the message

The Listening Process

Hearing

Filtering

Interpreting

Recalling

Advantages of Effective Listening

Develop better attitude Improve relationships with others Gain support from others Learn about minor problem before they become mayor ones

NON VERBAL COMMUNICATION

a message without words

(although it often is accompanied by words)

Be aware of the impact of non verbal communication

Characteristics of nonverbal communications

The nonverbal communication can be unintentional A nonverbal communication may be more honest than a verbal one Nonverbal communication makes, or helps to make, a first impression Nonverbal communication is always present

Types of Nonverbal Communication

Physical Appearance Body Language
Facial expressions Postures & Gestures Handshakes Posture

Space
The physical area Proximity to another person Obstacles between you and the person to whom you are speaking

Time

LISTENING
RANKINs MODEL BIRDs MODEL

WRITING 11% READING 15%

WRITING 11%

READ ING 4%

LISTENING 42%

TALKING 22%

LISTENING 63%

TALKING 32%

EFFECTIVE LISTENING
THREE LEVELS OF LISTENING:
PERIPHERIAL: radio, loudspeaker; can tune in when you want ATTENTIVE: social functions PROJECTIVE/ REFLECTIVE: - Put yourself into the shoes of speaker - Try to imagine his thoughts, feelings, point of view - interviews, meetings, Trg. Prog, negotiations - understand other persons viewpoint and respond AIDS TO CONCENTRATIONS: Make sure that you can hear the speaker and sit where you can see him Concentrate and engage in projective listening. Why is he saying ? What is he saying ? If you are uncomfortable, do something about it immediately. Try not to let you attitude and person cloud the issue. Discipline yourself to ignore distractions. Take notes

REFLECTIVE LISTENING
Average human listener actually hears and understands only about 25% of what is being said to him. Primary purpose: clarity & reinforcing

4 BASIC SKILLS: ( PORE ) 1. PROMPTING Telling the speaker with minimum of verbiage that you want him to continue speaking 2. OPEN ENDED QUESTIONS: It focuses more precisely on missing information that the listener wants to get 3. REFRASING: You put in in your own words what you believe the speaker to be saying and then reflect back to him ie give him feedback to check the accuracy of your understanding. Not merely an echo or Parrot trap, mimicry or mockery etc.. Twin purpose: Clarify & reinforce 4. EMPATHY: Encourage the speaker to talk, to elaborate on his comments so that you can get further information. 7 Don'ts Dont : REHEARSE( Not letting your mind Wander: preparing, rehearsing counter statements) DEFEND, INTERRUPT, CHANGE FOCUS TO YOURSELF, JUDGE PREMATURE, DISCOUNT, JUMP ON CONCLUSION

COMMON FAULTS IN LISTENING:

Prejudice against speaker. External distractions. Thinking speed: Speaking: 80-160 words per minute Thinking: 800 words per minute Premature evaluation Semantic stereotypes Delivery: monotone

EFFECTIVE LISTENING HABITS:

Be prepared Accent the positive attitude Listen to understand not to refute Focus your : concentration Concentrate on content : main ideas Take notes: Main ideas, sometimes single word, incomplete sentence Curb the impulse to interrupt Summarize and evaluate

RESULTS OF GOOD LISTENING

Leads to helpful positive attitudes Improves communication: each side receptive to each other's viewpoint Indicates by feedback listeners interest, Speaker tries harder to give his best presentation Help listener obtain useful information Create better understanding of each other and improves relationships

MODULE - 4
INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION

INTER- PERSONAL BEHAVIOR VARIOUS MODELS FOR IMPROVING INTER_ PERSONAL BEHAVIOR

INTRODUCTION
RELATIONSHIPS ARE IMPORTANT BECAUSE THEY ARE AN ESSENTIAL ASPECTS OF LIFE AS THEY ARE THE BUILDING BLOCKS OF THE SOCIALIZATION THROUGH WHICH WE CAN SHARE OUR FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS WITH ANOTHER PERSON, IT IS AN IMPORTANT ASPECT OF OUR HAPPINESS, HELPS US TO RELIEVE OUR STRESS BUT SOEMTIMES THE RELATIONSHIP BECOMES THE SOURCE OF STRESS ALSO . AT THAT TIME IS IMPORTANT TO SIT AND REFLECT THE CAUSATIVE PROBLEM AND HERE COMES THE IMPORTANCE OF RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT.

72

IPR: Developing and improving your relationship with others. Interpersonal competence is at the heart of all social skills

DETERMINANTS OF INTERPERSONAL BEHAVIOR:

1.SELF CONCEPT: What am I ? My attitude: Reflection of all past experiences with other persons. Once formed resists changes. 2.INTER PERSONAL NEEDS: people need people but for what ? There are three kinds of IP needs: INCLUSION : The need for association and interaction CONTROL : The need for power and control AFFECTION : The need for love and affection For each IP need, there are two behavioral aspects: A) Expressed behavior: That we initiate towards others B) Wanted behavior: We expect/ prefer from others 3.) IP ORIENTATION: How do you influence me ? Many people are oriented to one single particular aspect related to their personal need or self concept but some orientation can always be done People interact more frequently with those who match with self concept. 4) IP ATTRACTION: Why do we like each other ?

 Joe Luft & Harry Ingham a model for self-awareness it shows 2 dimensions to understanding ourselves:
1. our behaviour & style that are known and not known to us 2. Our behaviour and style known and not known to those we have contact with (others)

 Combinations of these 2 dimensions reveals 4 areas of knowledge about ourselves: 1. Arena = public self 2. Blind area 3. Closed area 4. Unknown area

Size of boxes varies

Try to increase arena size Reduce blind & closed areas: Ask feedback Show more of yourself

Known to Self

Not Known to Self

Known to Others

Open Self Hidden Self

Blind Self

Not Known to Others

Unknown Self

Johari Window

You know

You dont know

They know They dont know

Arena (free & open communication)

Blind (others know, you dont)

Closed (secrets)

Unknown (unconscious)

TOOL FOR DEVELOPING IP SKILLS JOHARI WINDOW

FEEDBACK
Increasing IP awareness : socializing Taking IP Risks KNOWN TO -Taking initiative in self exposure OTHERS - take/accept another persons feedback - Reciprocate another initiative and so on Developing cooperative relationship Cooperate not compete

ARENA
( SHARED MUTUALLY HELD feelings, emotions facts, information )

BLIND

Developing mutual expectations and Honoring Psychological Contracts: many of the expectations are unwritten or unspoken hence called psychological contracts Fulfilling each other's needs/expectations Resolving IP problems

NOT KNOWN TO OTHERS

HIDDEN

DARK

EXPOSURE KNOWN TO SELF NOT KNOWN TO SELF

COMMUNICATION: THE LIFE BLOOD OF RELATIONSHIPS

All our communication takes place within the context of relationship We must learn to deal with people and things that are changing continuously We should be continuously watchful for subtle sources of meaning in the messages exchanged. We must be willing to acknowledge our own role in structuring the responses of others to us We must also try to avoid making easy cause effect attributions before a thorough analysis has been made. As relationship reach for more intimacy this will bring about corresponding comm. Behavior in the form of more breadth, depth, smoothness, uniqueness, efficiency, flexibility, spontaneity and more overt judgment Our comm. Behavior is the very life blood of our relationship

TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS ( TA )
TRANSACTION: Interaction between two person Primarily a unit of social interaction Dr ERIC BURNE: developed a scientific method to study human behavior known as TA TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS: TA is a method of analyzing and understanding interpersonal behavior. Analysis of transitions may provide a clue for individual as well as group behavior

Dr ERIC BURNE- a psychologist observed in his patients that there are as if several different people inside each person and these different selves transacted with people in different ways ( Psychological treatment : 70%; Medicine: 305 )
IN ORDER TO UNDERSTAND TA following should be considered: Ego states Life positions Type of transactions

EGO STATE
EGO STATE: Psychological behavioral patters
Beliefs, Values, prejudices, Dos, Don'ts Right & wrong, social norms, compassion, caring Rational, analytical, logic, Fact finding, data, problem solving

PARENT
EGO STATE

TAUGHT
CONCEPT OF LIFE

ADULT
EGO STATE

THOUGHT

CONCEPT OF LIFE

CHILD
EGO STATE

FELT

CONCEPT OF LIFE

Feelings, impulses, emotions, drives, intuitions, curiosity, compliance, rebellion, creativity

( FC,LP), (RC,CC)

PARENT EGO STATE: Attitude, morals, values of parents or parent like people are recorded
during childhood. Person is over protective, upright, authoritative and impatient. ADULT EGO STATE: Based on reasoning, rational, analytical, logical behavior and own experiences. Constantly updating parental influences CHILD EGO STATE: Helplessness, dependability, anxiety , rebel, excitement, fun loving, spontaneous

LIFE POSITIONS
LIFE POSITIONS: PSYCHOLOGICAL POSITIONS: Refer to dominant philosophy of an individual Developed in early life on the basis of experience Tied to an individual identity, sense of worth, & his perception of other people More permanent than ego states 4 TYPES OF LIFE POSITIONS: A) Individual has many positive experiences ( Assertive Behavior ) A - A B) Distrust ( Aggressive Behavior ) P C C) Powerless, helpless as compared to others ( Passive Behavior ) C A D) Desperate life position, persons feel life not worth living ( Manipulative behavior )

I AM OK YOU ARE OK A

I AM OK YOU ARE NOT OK

I AM NOT OK YOU ARE OK C

I AM NOT OK YOU ARE NOT OK D

TRANSACTIONS
Transaction are routed through ego states.

3 TYPES OF TRANSACTIONS:
1) COMPLIMENTRY/ PARALLEL TRANSACTIONS: Stimuli gets the expected response. Both persons are satisfied and communication is complete. There can be 9 such
transactions ( P-P,P-A, P-C,A-P,A-A,A-C,C-P,C-A,C-C ) Ex: S: What are you doing after lunch. ( A-A ) R: Im going to work on an agenda for board meeting ( A-A ) 2) CROS TRANSACTIONS: Stimuli doesnt get expected response. Not desirable. Communication is blocked between two persons. Cross transactions do not continue for long. Ex: S: What is the day today. R: Day after yesterday 3) ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONS: Called manipulative transactions. Have double meaning. At social level: Clear adult message ; Psychological level: Hidden message Ex: S: The work is assigned to you. Only GOD knows what will happen. # When vectors are parallel : Transactions are complimentary When vectors are crossed: communication stops

ADVANTAGES OF TA
Develops positive thinking Improves Inter personal communication Provides technology for personal growth and social change TA can be applied for motivation and team building. Promotes healthy relationships and healing of relationships at home, work or any social platform. Helps in following six areas or organizational development - To maximize A-A transactions - To give an ok to natural child. - To identify and untangle quickly cross transactions - T minimize destructive game playing between peaple - to maximize authentic encounters ( Intimacy ) - To develop supportive systems .policies and work environment

RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT

85

RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT
Change catalyst: Initiating, managing, and leading in a new direction * Conflict management: Resolving disagreements Teamwork and collaboration: Cooperation and team building

* Primal Leadership, Harvard Business School Press, 2002

MODULE V

INTER PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP DEVELOPMENT

SESSION - 10

STAGES OF COMING TOGETHER STAGES OF GOING APART

COMMUNICATION: THE LIFE BLOOD OF RELATIONSHIPS

All our communication takes place within the context of relationship We must learn to deal with people and things that are changing continuously We should be continuously watchful for subtle sources of meaning in the messages exchanged. We must be willing to acknowledge our own role in structuring the responses of others to us We must also try to avoid making easy cause effect attributions before a thorough analysis has been made. As relationship reach for more intimacy this will bring about corresponding comm. Behavior in the form of more breadth, depth, smoothness, uniqueness, efficiency, flexibility, spontaneity and more overt judgment Our comm. Behavior is the very life blood of our relationship

QUALITIES OF BEHAVIORAL COMMUNICATION

IMPERSONAL Generic
(Treating others as interchangeable objects)

PERSONAL Unique
( Each person a genetic one of a kind )

Quantifiable (Objects can be measured in space-and-time) Unquestioning

Not measurable
( Feelings, emotions )

Reflective ( Not only that we are aware of whats around us

but also we are aware of ourselves. Questioning ourselves and others )

Reactive ( Controlled by outside forces ) Talked to/at

Responsive ( We can chose what to think,. feel and do.

People unlike objects can chose to respond rather than simply react.)

Addressable ( Ability not only to talk to but

also to talk with and to be talked with )

( It is very imp. to learn about impersonal and interpersonal comm.. Unresolved conflicts and poor relationships affect your blood pressure, susceptibility to cancer, heart disease and general physiological health )

RELATIONSHIPS
There are different types of relationships but all of them seem to have some characteristics in common. Relationship expectations change as a result of communication behavior and communication behavior changes as a result of relationship expectations. Each type of relationship seems to fluctuate along a continuum of intimacy or closeness of relationships Keeping above in mind. A model of interaction stages covering the growth and decay of relationships was proposed This evolutionary model of message making from greeting to goodbye includes many stages

RELATIONSHIPS
STAGES OF COMING TOGETHER & GOING APART

BONDING

GOING APRT

INTEGRATING
INTENSIFYING

STABILISING
STABILISING STABILISING STABILISING

DIFFERENTIATIN
CIRCUMSRIBING STAGNATING AVOIDING TERMINATING

EXPERIMENTING INITIATING

COMING TOGETHER

RELATIONSHIPS STAGES OF COMING TOGETHER

INITIATING: All processes enacted when we first come together with others. EXPERIMENTING: Once communication has been initiated, we begin the process of experimenting trying to discover the unknown. INTENSIFYING: When people achieve a relationship known as close friends indicators of the relationship are intensified. Amount of personal disclosure increases at this stage. Relationship tends to become more informal INTEGRATING: The relationship now reaches a point where two individual personalities, Verbal and non-verbal manifestation of integrating may take many forms in terms of same attitudes, opinions, interests and tastes BONDING: Institutionalizing of relationships

STAGES OF GOING APART

DIFFERENTIATING: To become distinct or different in character CIRCUMSCRIBING: Information exchange qualitatively and quantitatively deceases STAGNATING: Participants often find themselves conducting covert dialogues. Many areas are closed off and efforts to communicate effectively are at a standstill. AVOIDING: The communication is specifically designed to avoid the possibiliy of facc-to-face or voice-to-voice interaction TERMINATING: The bonds that held the pair together wear thin and finally pull apart.

GENERAL DIMENSIONS OF COMM. BEHAVIOR

GROWTH STAGES DECAY STAGES

0
NARROW

1 2 3 4 5 ---------------------------------------------------- BROAD

STYLISED --------------------------------------------------- UNIQUE DIFFICULT --------------------------------------------------- EFFICIENT RIGID --------------------------------------------------FLEXIBLE

AWKWARD --------------------------------------------------- SMOOTH PUBLIC HESITANT --------------------------------------------------- PERSONAL --------------------------------------------------- SPONTAEOUS

OVERT JUDGEMENT SUSPENDED ------------------------------------------------ OVERT JUDGEMENT GIVEN

* PATTERNS & VARIATIONS OF COMMUNICATION BEHAVIOR CAN BE PLOTTED on 1 to 5 LIKERT SCALE

ASSIGNMENT
Choose 4 students of your class. Conduct experiment on them wrt your behavioral communication and relationship with them and plot these on 1-5 likert scale on the chart showing General dimensions of communication behavior. Analyze your behavioral communication with them and initiatives you will take for improving your relationship. Conduct the same experiment after 1 month and see if there is any visible change in your relationship with them

MAINTAINING RELATIONSHIPS

MAINTAINING RELATIONSHIPS
Primary Question for relationship partners is what to reveal and what to keep secret, Disclosing personal information about oneself is typical of partners who desired increased intimacy.

Partners develop their own norms for the content, timing, style and impact of self revelations
Trust s a first characteristic of maintaining relationships. A liars first lies will no be suspected How to engage in constructive conflict so that relationship will profit. Conflict in close relationship is a fact of life that, like lying, has the capacity to completely destroy a relationship or to strengthen it. Withdrawal from the interaction and a lack of sensitivity to feelings were two common problems associated with conflict resolution between two partners. So, the overall attitude that each partner brings to the conflict is more important.

MAINTAINING RELATIONSHIPS
Dialogue, commitment and intimacy play an important role in maintaining relationships Each verbal and non verbal behaviors are equally pertinent in manifesting relationship behavior. Commitment is communicated : - by addressing the future rewards in the relationship; - by identifying with the relationship; - by rejecting competing alternatives; - by investing a lot in the relationship and - by accepting personal responsibility to the relationship. - by making public statement of your commitment. - by taking action to make your declarations of commitment more permanent. Intimacy can be Communicated through: - Use of personal idioms and private meanings to intimate persons - Compliments & gifts which tell the other person what you value without any ulterior motive. Dialogue is communicated through: - Comforting messages which help relationship partners when they are feeling down or hurt - Persuasive messages focus on effort to change your partners thoughts. feeling, behavior or relationship itself. It may involve giving advice, asking for help, challenging attitudes and beliefs, healthy criticism Nonverbal messages are important at all stages of intimacy, but being able to read these signals effectively is critical to long term satisfaction and maintenance of relationships.