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Assertive Communication

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Module Objectives

Explain the basics of communication. Identify the different types of communication. Identify the different styles of communication. Explain assertiveness. Identify their own assertiveness profile. Explain the benefits of assertive communication. Identify tips and techniques to develop assertive Behaviour. Display the skills, attitudes and habits for demonstrating Assertive Behaviour.

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What is Communication?

Any perceived Behaviour - or lack of Behaviour in one person that causes a "significant" mental, emotional, physical, or spiritual reaction in another person is "communication."

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Benefits of Good Communication

Good communication skills can result in the following benefits for an individual: Improved Job Performance Success in interpersonal relationships Enhanced Personal Effectiveness

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Verbal Communication

Verbal communication is a series of expressive thoughts and perceptions expressed through words.

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Verbal Communication

Some things to be kept in mind in Verbal Communication

are:
Clarity of the message Be Concise Keep in mind: Must say Should say Might say Be Simple

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Non Verbal Communication

Non Verbal communication constantly takes place

amongst individuals.
Even during a verbal conversation, non-verbal communication takes place, through gestures, eye contact, facial expressions, clothing and personal space.

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Channels of Non verbal Communication

Facial Expressions Verbal Paralanguage Kinesics Proxemics

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Facial Expressions
Emotion Happiness Expression Description Eyes Open and Crinkled Mouth upturned Watery Eyes Mouth Turned Down

Sadness

Anger

Heavily Frowning brow Scowling Mouth

Rounded Eyes Open, O-shaped Mouth

Surprise

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Verbal Paralanguage
Different shades of speech including tone, pace and voice modulation are known as Vocal Paralanguage. Tone of Speech Rate of Speech

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Kinesics

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Proxemics
The study of spatial territory for the purpose of communication uses four categories for informal space: The intimate distance for embracing or whispering (6-18 inches), The personal distance for conversations among good friends (1.5-4 feet), Social distance for conversations among acquaintances (4-12 feet), and Public distance used for public speaking (12 feet or more).
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Enhancing Non Verbal Communication

Because gestures can both compliment and contradict your message, be mindful of these. Eye contact is an important step in sending and receiving messages. Eye contact can be a signal of interest, a signal of recognition, even a sign of honesty and credibility. Closely linked to eye contact are facial expressions, which can reflect attitudes and emotions.

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Enhancing Non Verbal Communication

Posture can also be used to more effectively communicate your message. Clothing is important. By dressing for your job, you show respect for the values and conventions of your organization. Be mindful of peoples personal space when communicating. Do not invade their personal space by getting too close and do not confuse communications by trying to exchange messages from too far away.

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Roles
Follow this simple acronym to display Non Verbal messages:
R O L E S Remain Relaxed Adopt an Open Position Lean towards the person while speaking Maintain Good Eye Contact Face People Squarely

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Assertiveness

Interpersonal Behaviour (verbal and non-verbal) in which a person expresses him/herself and his/her needs in such a way that the rights of others are not infringed upon.

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Benefits of Assertive Communication

Assertiveness can be effectively used while: Negotiating. Resolving conflict and defusing anger. Implementing/explaining controversial policy.

Communicating tough decisions.

Solving problems. Establishing boundaries, balance. Dealing with aggressive, passive and passive-aggressive behaviour.
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What keeps one from being assertive?

Insecurity of others in terms of age, rank and seniority. Expectations. Past experience. Fears: Causing harm to self or others. Causing loss to self or others.

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Assertiveness is an art that needs to be practiced continually.

"Each practice opportunity is also an opportunity to feel good about oneself for speaking up and feeling good about oneself is a step toward building self esteem."

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My Assertiveness Profile

The four communication styles depicted through this

tool are:
Aggressive Passive Receptive Assertive

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The Assertiveness Matrix

High

Aggressive

Assertive

Low
Passive

Understanding

High

Receptive

Enthusiasm

Low
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Passive Behaviour
An individual with this Behaviour tends to use low enthusiasm and low understanding levels. He normally keeps to himself or remains quiet and unassuming in most discussions or in meetings with others. When directly engaged, he may often concede to more aggressive types. He is generally emotionally dishonest and does not convey his feelings to others openly. Since he does not communicate openly, he ends up feeling hurt or anxious.

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Passive Behaviour
Possible body language used: Leaning back Hands clasped or arms crossed Eyes averted or watching the broad scene with fleeting looks and possible sighs. While talking to others, they allow themselves to be interrupted.

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Passive Behaviour
Strengths Effectively analyzes discussions or debates. Can listen effectively. Weakness Ignores/sacrifices own rights. Stays silent rather than speaking up. Can feel inept at times.

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Aggressive Behaviour

An individual with this Behaviour uses high enthusiasm and is low on understanding. His primary objective is to be in control. To achieve this, they may tread on others rights or feelings. Such individuals may fail to listen to others.

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Aggressive Behaviour
Possible body language used: Invades space Loud voice Arms crossed or moving aggressively Very direct eye contact or even staring Interrupts others while speaking Subordinates others and tries to make others feel small and insignificant Stereotypes others and makes statements to that effect.

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Aggressive Behaviour
Strengths Confident and commanding when required. Weakness May often be insensitive to others rights and needs. May adopt a sarcastic or hostile attitude. Interrupts or talks over others without listening.

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Receptive Behaviour
An individual with this Behaviour uses high understanding and low enthusiasm. He tends to offer gentle comments and suggestions in discussions and conversations. He is more interested in finding out about other people and in building better relationships. He may avoid jeopardizing a positive conversational climate to push even their important points too hard.

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Receptive Behaviour
Possible body language used:
Open posture Good eye contact Friendly Smiling Some use of hands when speaking and concentrating, so as to listen properly.

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Receptive Behaviour
Strengths Keeps the discussions and conversations calm and friendly. Gently offers a lot of ideas and suggestions. Weakness May not come to the point about what they need or want. May become upset in the face of high aggression or anger.

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Assertive Behaviour
An individual with this Behaviour uses high enthusiasm and highly understanding. He usually has high feeling of self-esteem and is aware of his personal needs and rights. He states his needs, wants and feelings in an honest manner. At the same time, he is also sensitive to others needs and rights. He will first listen to others attentively before firmly communicating his message.

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Assertive Behaviour
Possible body language used: Relaxed Slightly leaning forward posture and lots of use of the hands Good eye contact and confident, usually modulated voice. Usually nods, and questions the other person while listening to them. Appropriately uses tools like paraphrasing to display his active listening skills.

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Assertive Behaviour
Strengths Takes action towards achieving the result without denying others rights. Pro-active and solution oriented to always find a positive way forward. Demonstrates that he values the feelings and needs of others. Listens effectively.

Weakness May not coach others who are less assertive.

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Correct Answers
ISVB JZZXYH BPJB BPH SVQE UJE DONT ASSUME THAT THE ONLY WAY BS UCV CZ BS FSYTHBH. ZSYHBCYHZ TO WIN IS TO COMPETE. SOMETIMES BPH AHZB UJE BS UCV CZ BS THE BEST WAY TO WIN IS TO FSSTHWJBH UCBP SBPHWZ COOPERATE WITH OTHERS.
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The Communication Continuum

Passive

Assertive

Aggressive

Lose - Win

Win Win

Win Lose

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The Communication Continuum

According to the communication continuum: Being passive means that an individual dismisses his personal rights in favor of the rights of others. Being aggressive means that the individual values his personal rights higher that those of others, who may ultimately feel dominated or humiliated by his communication. Communicating assertively generally means that both parties feel satisfied and valued.
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Traits of an Assertive Person

The person: Clearly defines his needs and wants in his communication. Makes statements convey respect for the listener. Sends messages that have no hidden agenda what he says is what he means to say. Has the ability to initiate, continue and terminate conversations.

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Traits of an Assertive Person

The person: Has the ability to maintain eye contact. Has an erect posture, clear speech and uses facial expressions and gestures effectively to emphasize on his communications. Possesses the ability to say No. Has the ability to ask for favors and make requests. Has the ability to express positive and negative feelings.

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Components of Assertive Behaviour

Enthusiasm used while communicating with others. It includes both verbal and non-verbal elements. Understanding indicates the level of understanding sought by an individual in communication. It includes understanding of both feelings and views of the other person.

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Types of Assertions

There are four different types of Assertions:

Basic Assertion Empathic Assertion Escalating Assertion I Language Assertion

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Assertiveness can be depicted in a variety of ways. A person can display assertive Behaviour through his: Behaviour Verbal cues Body Language

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Behavioural Techniques

Stand up for your basic rights. Assume responsibility for your own feelings (Use I statements) Behave like a Broken Record continually stating your own feelings, needs, wants and desires. While listening to other people use the active listening style.

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Behavioural Techniques
Demonstrate empathy. Identify the problems in Behavioural terms. Focus on and brainstorm solutions. Be willing to evaluate options. Be aware of the boundaries. Be aware of the choices and the consequences. Trust in the outcome.

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Behavioural Techniques

Make requests and ask for favors. Refuse requests if they are unreasonable. Accept both compliments and feedback. Develop a value and belief system that allows you to assert yourself.

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Verbal Cues

Agree on matters assertively. Use factual descriptions instead of judgments. Avoid exaggerations. Keep a level, well modulated tone of voice. Be specific.

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Verbal Cues

Stand up for your opinions and stick to them. Resist giving into interruptions before completing your own thoughts. When saying No be decisive.

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Body Language

Be aware of others body language as well as your own. Maintain a good posture and eye contact. But ensure that the eye contact does not seem as if you are glaring at the individual.

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Body Language

Keep your posture open and relaxed and make sure that your expression matches with the message you are conveying. Stop self limiting Behaviours, such as smiling too much, nodding too much, tilting your head, or dropping your eyes in response to another persons gaze.

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Four Step Behaviour to being more Assertive

Prepare for assertive encounters with the right facts and skills. Organize yourself with rehearsals. Put your skills to practice. Learn from the outcomes of being assertive in a variety of situations.

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Assertiveness Entails

Respectful communication Both parties are committed to and comfortable with final plan Agreeing to disagreeroom for difference Unique power dynamic Both parties finish communication with integrity intact Compassion

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Assertiveness in a Team
In a team situation use Assertiveness to: Think Win-Win. What is best for you and the team? Include statements that illustrate the benefits to the team. Respect your team members. Share your knowledge and ideas with the team. Point out potential problems in a constructive way. Enable processes that move the team toward its goals.

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