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Better Marriages Through Better

Communication
The Five Love Languages

• This sermon is not:


• About how to select a godly spouse
• About the scriptural basis for divorce
• An exhaustive sermon on what the Bible says
about marriage or communication
Better Marriages Through Better
Communication
The Five Love Languages

Dr. Gary Chapman, baptist


preacher
FiveLoveLanguages.com
Not perfect nor inspired, but
consistent with Scripture
Practical & sound advice built
upon experience
How to treat a spouse generally:
At least as well as The Bible never says
a brother in Christ, romantic love (eros):
Philippians 2:2-4 Ephesians 5:25, 28, 33
At least as well as (agapao), Colossians
our neighbor, 3:19 (agapao), Titus
Matthew 22:39 2:4 (philandros)
As we want to be Unlike lust or "puppy
treated, love," selfless love
Matthew 7:12 must be learned
With love, 1 Titus 2:4
Corinthians 13:4-7 `
Better Marriages Through Better
Communication

• The Bible recognizes that communication


requires people to listen and think about what is
said in order to understand:
Matthew 13:14
Proverbs 1:5
Proverbs 2:1-5
#1 Words of Affection
The Five Love Languages

Does your spouse ask you if you love her?


Does he tell you often that he loves you?
Examples:
 "I love you" - Song of Solomon 1:4, 7
 "Words of honor" - 1 Peter 3:6
 Find new ways of expressing "I love you," Song of
Solomon 1:8-10, 14-16; 2:2-3, 14; 4:1,3,5,7,10; 5:16; 6:4;
7:5 and find and use new and different compliments
 Write a poem, a note or buy a greeting card
 Praise the positives, accomplishments & strengths
#1 Words of Affection
The Five Love Languages

If Words of Affection is your spouse's primary


love language, then negative words can be
particularly hurtful:
Proverbs 12:18; 15:1; 16:24
Wives – Proverbs 19:13
Husbands – Colossians 3:19
~
#2 Quality Time
 Is your spouse asking to do  Dates
things – or even nothing – with
you?  Weekday
 Is your spouse offering to do
things with you, or help you
luncheons
with things?  Walks
 Song of Solomon 1:7
 Board games
 Set aside specific times of day,
week, and/or month  Vacations
 Establish rules for when & what
to do  Ask your spouse
 How you spend your time
proves what is most important
to you.
#3 Gifts - The Five Love Languages

• Gifts show:
• Respect – Matthew 2:10-11
• Concern & Love – Ruth 2:8, 14-18, 3:15
• Gifts need not be expensive (or cost anything) – A
person whose love language is gifts usually looks for
quantity over price
• If your spouse’s primary love language is gifts, consider
making frequent purchases of cards, flowers, candy,
books, newspapers, magazines, DVDs or CDs.
• ~
#4 Acts of Service - The Five Love Languages
• Is your spouse • Ruth 1:8-17; 2:11-12
constantly asking you • Philippians 2:2-4
to do something
• Wives – Titus 2:3-5
specific (e.g., helping
(homemakers)
with kids, chores
around house, • Proverbs 31:10-31
something with car)? • Abigail,
• Is he or she 1 Samuel 25:14-34
constantly doing • Leave a note for your
things for you or spouse letting him/her
chores in general? know what you did.
#5 Physical Touch - The Five Love Languages
• Song of Solomon 1:2, Physical touch
4; 2:6, 4:11, 7:1-2, 6-9 doesn't always have
(more alluded to) to be sex.
• Wives, Ephesians How does your
5:22-24 (submit … spouse act towards
everything) you?
1 Corinthians 7:3-5 What does he or she
One flesh, Genesis 2:24 ask for?
~
The Five Love Languages
• LISTEN: What is Words of
your spouse asking Affirmation?
for? Quality Time?
• PAY ATTENTION: Gifts?
What is your spouse
Acts of Service?
offering you?
Physical Touch?
• COMMUNICATE:
Ask your spouse
what they need to
feel loved.
• ~

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